We lay side by side just as we had so many nights ago when we first became friends. I remember our bodies pressed so close, sweet breath across the other's face. And I remembered I'd told myself I would never ruin our relationship with romantic feelings. Then you had snaked your arm around my waist sending beautiful confusion through my mind, and I doubted what I wanted. You pulled me into you, and my mind and body fought to control desire. Then you kissed me, and the rainfall of sparkles thundering through my body convinced me what we had then and there was a passion worth pursuing. It was the only convincing I needed to fall with you.
And now you lay next to me side by side once again. It feels so familiar, and perfect, and so distant and evil. We had moved apart, and dated other people, and yet we couldn't stay away and instead recreated what we had. And I told myself I wasn't going to fall for you. I wasn't going to muck up our relationship with complicated feelings combined with past passion. You were dating my friend, and I was not going to glitch anything between you two.
So we lay there, side by side, soft voices passing back and forth in the dark trying to ignore the beckoning comfort merely teasing at the edge of conscience. We laughed and we brought back the best in our relationship, and suddenly you are telling me you miss what we had, and how you dislike the distance in your current relationship. You say you can't understand what she thinks of you, and you tell me how much you care. The fresh rip in my heart so strongly screams to me to admit to myself I still have feelings for you, and I silence then because you are dating my friend and that's not fair to either of you. So I don't tell you she finds you emotionally draining, and I don't tell you how she closes herself off and shuts down around you. Instead I tell you things she said before she doomed herself. Things like what she wanted in a person, and how well you fit the bill. I urge you to talk with her. To work out your problems with her and not me because I can't fix something that isn't mine. Basically I tell you how to break my heart and date my best friend.
You look at me, and my first thought is you will notice the tear rolling down my cheek and I will have to explain how I still love you, and I am a lowly person for still trying to be near you. But I notice there is a tear rolling down your cheek. My body glows alight, and fragile hope pulses through my entire being, vulnerable to have my deepest dreams smashed at any given second. But your eyes meet mine, and hold contact, and the energy becomes alive. There is recognization the passion is mutual. We love each other. Words of promise are whispered into the darkness. We wrap closer together, and there is this feeling of unity. There is no distance, or misunderstanding, or struggle.
And as we lay in the darkness, side by side, arms wrapped around each other starring into the other's searching eyes I promise myself I wont ruin things between us, between you and her. Then your arm is sliding down my back and my whole body is pulsing, and you are resting your hand in the gentile arch in my spine and my whole body flutters, and I'm fighting to remember what is sopposed to happen. What I told myself was the right thing to do.
Then I am touching your hair, your sculpted abs, you. And there is nothing more right than us. Together. And You Kiss Me. My being pounds with passionate life, and all chemistry urupts into glittering bubbles within my core, and I want nothing more.
Laying with you, alight, there is a right answer. And I let my mind go to fall for you again.