Why they won't let me be PresidentMature

My sons and I were having a discussion the other day.  They were explaining the ins and outs of politics.  They explained how things had to be handled diplomatically.  I listened, and my whole thought was, "None of this makes any sense to me."  I voiced that and my boys decided to ask me this question:  

"If you were president, what would be the first thing you would do, then what would follow?" 

A fair question.  This was my answer:

The first thing I would do after being elected president is start the process of making the U.S.A. SELF RELIANT.  No longer would we be dependent on FOREIGN anything.  We have resources in this country, they should be for the benefit of the American people..  America is a melting pot, all peoples are welcome however, our borders would no longer be open to anyone, if you wish to come here, come correct, follow the laws of the land. If you come to America respect America, flag burning will no longer be tolerated.. If Americans decide to go outside of the U.S. you go at your own risk.. Pay attention, if they are having bombings in Indonesia, why go there knowing you could become a statistic... My first order of business is to make my country secure and safe for my people.

My next order of business would be to look at the condition of the 50 states.. I'd like to know why California is broke, We would have a sit down, there would be an accounting.. where did this money go?  I didn't spend it, my neighbor didn't spend it, where is it.  In a budget you are supposed to set aside monies for the different bills and or programs, you also allow for the {what ifs}.. What happened to the lottery money, remember that was supposed to go to the schools, what happened?  I would appoint heads for the 50 states, they can pick their commitees, I'd expect books to be taken apart and every single penny down to the last to be accounted for..

Oh yes, I'd like to address Childrens Rights.. from 0-18, you have the right to remain silent, you have the right to respect your parents, you have the right to obey your parents, you have the right to do your chores, you have the right to go to school, you have the right to be a child and remain a child until that time that the law says, you are responsible for your actions.. Now understand,  child abuse will not be tolerated and abusers will be severely punished.. Child molesters, there is no place in society for them, they will be like the Lepers of old.. banished.. Gangbangers.. good lord, what is your purpose, you like to shoot and kill.. see I know people will not agree with this but, if you could just shoot straight and kill each other.. what a wonderful world it would be but, since you kill innocent kids and people, we can drop your asses off on an island and may the best man win.. No longer will a DEATHROW INMATE be allowed to get fan mail, no longer will he be allowed to be married, you say it takes so much money to keep a prisoner in prison, why do inmates sit on deathrow for 20+ years,,,, that will not be tolerated any longer, let's expidite the execution!

Foreign Policy.. this gets touchy, let's see my main duty here would be to install.. STAR WARS.. You dang right, tell me this Russia, why is it a problem for you that I set up a defense for my country.. hmmm do you have plans, perhaps some ulterior motives, why should this be a problem for you? Defense would be up before you could say Jack Sprat..   Kim Jong IL.. what is your major malfunction?  I will tell you one more time about the nukes and one time only.. believe me, you will wish for the  sanctions..

You say what? You can't find Osama Bin Laden, he is in the mountains?  Don't we have Daisy Cutters?

And that is why they won't let me be president.. 

Why won't they let you?


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