Have you ever listened to music and felt that happy tingly feeling? Like, it made you show happy you just wanted to scream with joy? Or gave you that all around good person vibe? I have, and I probably shouldn't. You see, every time I get that feeling it makes me want to. Um, how do I put it normally, but I'm not normal so is there even a point? Right, back to the subject at hand. Every time I feel this " happiness" and believe me I do feel happy, but every single time I feel it. I just want to um, jump and fly into the clouds. But it's the way I portray myself getting there that is the odd thing. See, it involves um, that darkness. Yea, let's call it that. It makes me want to let my soul escape my body and fly off somewhere. But if I did that, then I wouldn't be able to breath and well yea, then I'd belong to that darkness.
Okay, so let me just put it straight. Death, I'm talking about death. But it's such a happy feeling, it just makes me so peaceful. Like, it tells me I shouldn't be afraid to die; I'm not, I feel so at ease, it's as if, if I died right then and there, it wouldn't matter. It's so hard to explain, imagine you're standing on a hill. And the wind is blowing gently running through your hair. There's a lone tree beside you and you can hear the leaves rustle. Suddenly, you start walking and lean over the edge, feeling the wind lift you gently onto your tip-toes. And at that moment you think 'It's ok if I fall, I can just fly away.'
No, no that's not a good example at all. Hm... um. How do I put this into something so simple. Um, that feeling you get when you're done crying, you feel so good. Or maybe, it's the feeling of being insane, oh god, it is! No, no it can't be. I'm not there yet, am I? Darn, it's that feeling. FREEDOM! Yes, that's why I always say, keep me caged, because when I feel freedom, I get the urge to end it all, I can imagine myself with a sadistic little smirk and a rusty blade to my neck. No, no this isn't good. I can hold it off though, so I'm fine. Yes but, be careful of this feeling. But to you, you might get a feeling that makes you want to help others, yes, yes that's you. I have the exact opposite but, you're not me. You're you, stay you, don't copy me. No, you is good.