Who do you think you are?

      Have you ever hated someone? I was always told growing up that hate is a strong word. More recently, someone very close to me that "hate is forever." I'm not sure if I can hold a grudge forever but hate seems to be the most appropriate word in this situation

      I have never met this person whom I "hate." In fact I will probably never meet this person. Honestly I couldn't even pick him out of a lineup. Regardless, this person has impacted my life in a major way. His actions carried weight of which I'm not sure he knew the power of. His actions, vile, cruel, unforgivable actions, have altered the mind of another human being in ways which make me cringe to think about. He took away happiness, creativity, joy, exuberance, and an overall cheerful disposition on life and replaced that with fear, anxiety, depression, and maybe worst of all... nothing. An void. He has left nothing. Although this state of emptiness is not permanent,  watching it in action is heartbreaking. To see someone you care about suffer from heinous acts and neglect which happened years ago is a torture in its own, albeit nowhere near what they are going through. To see those blank stares into space, or to see those beautiful blue eyes go from full of love to glossed over and cold in a matter of seconds, or to feel those tears fall upon me makes me... well I'm not really sure words can describe it.

    This person has affected not only the life of someone close to me but has also affected me. I'm glad the affected party has been able to move on and find new life. Sometimes I think I'm more bothered by his actions than they are. But hearing how they once used to be and seeing how drastically different they are now just makes me wonder "how terrible must that relationship have been?" How can one human inflict such pain upon another? And reading this past sentence I realize that my desire to cause harm to him (and trust me I could) wouldn't make me any better than him...              a sobering thought.

The End

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