Through new eyes
But the house closed itself around her. The ticking of the clock was loud again above the roaring in her ears and in her mind, like the drag of surf on a beach. It interfered, it made her heart want to beat faster and faster and she was light-headed, her chest heavy and heaving. There seemed to be no air, or if there was she couldn't use it, was panting, drowning under that roaring sea.
Her legs were shaky, but she felt that she had to move, had to move or else she would die. Her thoughts were sped up, disjointed, like a dismembered jigsaw: Fractured nonsense, her only clarity the need to escape.
Outside there was air, there was coolness. She wanted it.
She stepped out into the street, closing the gate behind her and began to walk. Her legs were weak at first but she forced them to carry her, past houses alien and strange. Past gardens familiar and yet different from before. They, this place, this town had ceased to be a sanctuary. What was once sweet was soured, what had seemed friendly was now forbidding and watchful.
Sounds came to her, seeming to fall into a pattern. They were removed from her, echoing; the bark of a dog, the slam of a car door, a young child's shout of pain. They rattled in her mind, clacking together in weird harmonics, the sky darker, another weight there in the heavy clouds.
The physical exertion helped her gradually overcome her panic. She had entered the park and now reached the top of the hill, feeling the last of that terrible weakness ebb as the cool breeze rubbed her cheeks and ruffled through her hair.
Alice closed her eyes.
I can face this, she thought. I won't give in. I won't let them scare me. Not any more; not when I did escape, when I did get away. He, they, won't have me again. The Alice they knew is not here.
I won't win by running.
Running I did, and it hasn't worked. I can run and run but I will be found, run again be found again.
It's time I did something of my own. He - they - act and I react. That's the way it was, but it doesn't need to be so now.
"Time to be clever," she said aloud. "Time to plan."
Let him be the one to run.
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THE GOODS
You're currently reading a chapter in the story
Who chooses to forget. This chapter
was posted on May 12, 2008 by
seldom.
This story is filed under:
Mystery
Look forward to reading your next chapters. I'm in the middle of moving house at the moment, so I won't be adding anything for the next week!"
:D involved in the storyline. So am I.
phew
- wipes fevered brow, reinserts monocle."
It's soo hot I agree, boiling!! No need to rush the next chapter, I won't add anymore, I need a break, and am looking forward to reading more from you :-)
Hope you weren't offended when I said I wouldn't have brought the man in so early. It was only because you asked my opinion, and have become waaay too involved in the storyline lol. Hence needing a break.
SS"
Am feeling sorrier and sorrier for poor ol Alice. She seriously needs a break :0 Will have to have a think how to follow this - maybe I need a break too - have not been sleeping so am shattered. The heat is intense!
Same as this story lol
Like it!
And also clever - the way you brought in the ref to the puppet thing.
Give me a day or two.
:D"
Let me know if you don't like it!!"
It's a bummer that you can't copy and paste.
Not too overdone no, I can see Carol in my mind's eye, you've painted her well! :-)"
Do you think I introduced him too soon? We still haven't seen him tho."
"So then, why don't you just write in the same style as a best-selling author"!!! HAHAHA. How hilarious.
Tit-bits rub-off, but that's about it! No author has the same style, nor can they copy another writer's style. It's just not possible, I told my friend. It's an interesting idea to 'adapt' to another writer's style on here for instance, for fun; but Jackie Collins is never going to write like P.D James, is she! ;)
I'm with you on the mood thing, I wrote the Josh chapter when I was in particularly dark mood ;)"
I need to edit my branches 100% before posting; but that's just me all over, I'm impulsive and impatient :)"
About the different styles. I'm just easily influenced by whatever I happen to be reading at the time - sighs. I can almost tell what I was reading when I wrote something, even if it was ages ago.
:)"
'The woman's eyes were dark and ambigious eyes'
... this sentence wanted the last word scrapping!! :-)"
I'm looking forward to reading your next chapter (or two lol)
:-)"
You have this way of depicting heightened emotion which I think is great :)"
My desk is held together with tape.
Ok - we'll remain immature ;)"
P.S, it's ocurred to me what you're profile pic reminds me of!... From a thumb-nail view, it looks a bit like the puppet from the movie 'The Saw' lol :))"
maybe we need to ask Nick if he'll change it to mature :0
good stuff, can't wait to see the rest"
Wonder if they're planning something like that here.
Still a relatively new site so I think they're continually tinkering with it.
Want to see your new chapter (hint hint);)"
Want to do the next bit SS? please do. would be cool :)"
Looking back on it I've winced at a couple of things I wrote. Particularly the teddy bear with the get well soon tag around it's neck :) Just didn't sound right. I usually come back to what I've written a day later, refreshed, and then edit it. It's a different ball-game here. Unless you write it in Word before hand, and don't rush yourself.
Sorry I didn't initially pick up on the paranoia, my sister had popped around and I was having to read over a busy discussion. Yep, I like it!! it's carried on the theme nicely :)
I'll await your response to see what you want to do with it, as you've said you're giving it a once-over. Most importantly it's what you think that counts!! You're worried it doesn't fit right? But I could say the same with my branches! ;)"
If you want to carry on adding stuff SS, I can delete this if you don't think it fits? and write another. what say?"
didn't forget, both can happen at once - frosty relations with neighbours as well as a past. Maybe am steering it to a darker place than you were going? not sure. Was trying to depict paranoia - maybe she thinks her friends could have been contacted by someone in her past - ref the 'puppet' - someone who recruits others? but it's the photo of her house that makes her think of that house and that time. Maybe the next part could be some contact with a friend calling round and her being all suspicious? watching them for clues etc. What do you think?
Anyway, if you would like to add - which I would love if you did :)
the ball would be in your court to take it where you like.
wasn't sure about it generally - was trying to use the devices you brought in and used so effectively - the voice and so on - the ticks and wasn't sure I did so good at it lol."
Perhaps recently something has happened to remind Alice of the past, of the house, and that's why she was on edge when the box arrived on her door step? Maybe because of this incident (reminder), Alice hasn't been herself and this has been reflected in some way by her getting on the wrong side of her neighbours?
You say you're not sure about the chapter, why is this?"
I used to try an odd thing walking along a street. I'd imagine myself much further up it, visualise the entire thing, the passers-by, everything. And then when i finally got to there I'd have a weird deja-vous - that the people who were passing me where the ones I'd imagined.
Possible madness brought on by frustration brought on by the unreasonably long long long streets we have in abundance near where I live ;-)"
It needs a different ending - more added - so it becomes clearer.
I suppose I think we need to see what's real.
Only when youre talking about perception and reality and subjectivity - how do you show it? because anything can be the truth and anything a lie, it's what you choose to see whether you know it or not. kind of like the Lucid Dream stuff DrPinch is writing."
We have the house now - so the house becomes the new box (what's in The House?), which I like!
But I still would have preferred the lid left on a little longer."
surprise you hmmm - will give it a try.
Nicetameetcha Danni :)"
I'm Danni!! lol"
the plot thickens to the consistency of tomato soup. ;-)"
:-)"
How did you manage to post 4 comments like that btw?
feeling a bit sorry for Alice lol poor woman, whats she done to deserve all this? guess we'll find out soon"