No Time To Chat
Alice dropped the mug onto the floor, where it shattered into a dozen pieces and sprayed hot tea all over Carol’s legs. It sprayed up her thick-wrinkled tights in dark splodges. Though Alice hardly noticed, her mind was busy elsewhere.
“ALICE!” Carol shrieked, springing out of her chair. “Look what you’ve done! I’ve got a doctors appointment in half an hour, I’ll have to change now.” She said, shaking her head and bending to inspect-the-damage.
“Sorry.” Alice replied in a far-away voice, slumping into her chair.
Carol, now struggling to reach her ankles to rub at the splodges, stopped to compose herself. There was gossip at-stake.
“Alice, what’s wrong?” She asked, raising her eyebrows to the sympathetic-peak of a Samaritan.
“What did he look like?” Alice croaked, ignoring the question. “Was he... old?”
“The man who was looking for you?” Carol asked, with puzzled-furrows.
Alice nodded.
“Why do you ask? Are you in trouble?” Carol probed, attempting with no success to meet Alice’s gaze. Alice jumped out of her chair with sudden restlessness and made her way to the door, where she shuffled the net curtain to one side and surveyed the street for a moment. It was empty - still. However, her line of vision was restricted by a large conifer and a white Transit van. It was inconvenient - damned inconvenient.
“Alice?”
“Hmm?” Alice replied, turning to her bewildered companion. Carol's tongue was now half-poked out, she looked like a mutt with a squeak-toy (if she’d had a tail it would have been wagging!) Alice thought.
“Are you in trouble?” Carol asked, treading carefully over the puddle of tea and broken coffee-mug, as she edged closer with the tact of a negotiator.
“I have to go out!” Alice replied, tugging at the collar of her coat as if to point-out to Carol that she’d been half-out-of-the-door when she’d arrived - when she’d invited herself in.
“But I thought we were talking?” Carol tried, hanging her shoulders like an ape. Alice thought Carol looked like she’d just reached an anti-climax and she felt the corner of her mouth twitch as she toyed-with-the-idea for a moment-too-long.
“I just have a lot on right now. I’ll fill you in you later!” Alice promised, clicking open the front door and ushering her disgruntled neighbour out onto the porch.
“I’ll call you!” Alice said, making a fumbling gesture at her coat pockets and putting on her best – ‘where did I put the car-keys?’ face, whilst shrewdly watching Carol turn away and start up the garden path.
Good. That’s one problem taken care of Alice thought, turning back to the house. As she did she stopped, her breath caught for a moment, her pulse fluttering.
A bit strange that - don’t you think? Carol forgiving you so easily! A voice stirred.
As the thought jumped out at her Alice heard Carol’s heels stop clicking the concrete.
“It’s come to me now.” Carol purred. Alice took a peek over her left shoulder enough to catch Carol from the corner of her eye swaying on her feet.
“Flynn! His name was Flynn.” She said, disappearing around the conifer.
“Flynn?” Alice croaked. “Not Frank... Flynn!” She whispered, as she leaned against the cool-oak door frame for a moment, her head helium-light as she processed the information.
“Flynn!”
She gazed up at the bright-blue sky at a puffy white cloud and closed her eyes for a moment, sucking in a deep breath of cool-summer air and freshly-cut-grass. In the distance she could hear a mower buzzing - background-noise nothing more. She repeated his name through her mind where it swirled and dipped into a headache.
Flynn?
POST A COMMENT
70 COMMENTS ABOUT THIS STORY RSS
STORY TAGS
RELATED STORIES RSS
BY THE SAME AUTHOR RSS
You're a bad boy Josh!mature
THE GOODS
You're currently reading a chapter in the story
Who chooses to forget. This chapter
was posted on May 8, 2008 by
somebodysomeday83.
This story is filed under:
Mystery
Look forward to reading your next chapters. I'm in the middle of moving house at the moment, so I won't be adding anything for the next week!"
:D involved in the storyline. So am I.
phew
- wipes fevered brow, reinserts monocle."
It's soo hot I agree, boiling!! No need to rush the next chapter, I won't add anymore, I need a break, and am looking forward to reading more from you :-)
Hope you weren't offended when I said I wouldn't have brought the man in so early. It was only because you asked my opinion, and have become waaay too involved in the storyline lol. Hence needing a break.
SS"
Am feeling sorrier and sorrier for poor ol Alice. She seriously needs a break :0 Will have to have a think how to follow this - maybe I need a break too - have not been sleeping so am shattered. The heat is intense!
Same as this story lol
Like it!
And also clever - the way you brought in the ref to the puppet thing.
Give me a day or two.
:D"
Let me know if you don't like it!!"
It's a bummer that you can't copy and paste.
Not too overdone no, I can see Carol in my mind's eye, you've painted her well! :-)"
Do you think I introduced him too soon? We still haven't seen him tho."
"So then, why don't you just write in the same style as a best-selling author"!!! HAHAHA. How hilarious.
Tit-bits rub-off, but that's about it! No author has the same style, nor can they copy another writer's style. It's just not possible, I told my friend. It's an interesting idea to 'adapt' to another writer's style on here for instance, for fun; but Jackie Collins is never going to write like P.D James, is she! ;)
I'm with you on the mood thing, I wrote the Josh chapter when I was in particularly dark mood ;)"
I need to edit my branches 100% before posting; but that's just me all over, I'm impulsive and impatient :)"
About the different styles. I'm just easily influenced by whatever I happen to be reading at the time - sighs. I can almost tell what I was reading when I wrote something, even if it was ages ago.
:)"
'The woman's eyes were dark and ambigious eyes'
... this sentence wanted the last word scrapping!! :-)"
I'm looking forward to reading your next chapter (or two lol)
:-)"
You have this way of depicting heightened emotion which I think is great :)"
My desk is held together with tape.
Ok - we'll remain immature ;)"
P.S, it's ocurred to me what you're profile pic reminds me of!... From a thumb-nail view, it looks a bit like the puppet from the movie 'The Saw' lol :))"
maybe we need to ask Nick if he'll change it to mature :0
good stuff, can't wait to see the rest"
Wonder if they're planning something like that here.
Still a relatively new site so I think they're continually tinkering with it.
Want to see your new chapter (hint hint);)"
Want to do the next bit SS? please do. would be cool :)"
Looking back on it I've winced at a couple of things I wrote. Particularly the teddy bear with the get well soon tag around it's neck :) Just didn't sound right. I usually come back to what I've written a day later, refreshed, and then edit it. It's a different ball-game here. Unless you write it in Word before hand, and don't rush yourself.
Sorry I didn't initially pick up on the paranoia, my sister had popped around and I was having to read over a busy discussion. Yep, I like it!! it's carried on the theme nicely :)
I'll await your response to see what you want to do with it, as you've said you're giving it a once-over. Most importantly it's what you think that counts!! You're worried it doesn't fit right? But I could say the same with my branches! ;)"
If you want to carry on adding stuff SS, I can delete this if you don't think it fits? and write another. what say?"
didn't forget, both can happen at once - frosty relations with neighbours as well as a past. Maybe am steering it to a darker place than you were going? not sure. Was trying to depict paranoia - maybe she thinks her friends could have been contacted by someone in her past - ref the 'puppet' - someone who recruits others? but it's the photo of her house that makes her think of that house and that time. Maybe the next part could be some contact with a friend calling round and her being all suspicious? watching them for clues etc. What do you think?
Anyway, if you would like to add - which I would love if you did :)
the ball would be in your court to take it where you like.
wasn't sure about it generally - was trying to use the devices you brought in and used so effectively - the voice and so on - the ticks and wasn't sure I did so good at it lol."
Perhaps recently something has happened to remind Alice of the past, of the house, and that's why she was on edge when the box arrived on her door step? Maybe because of this incident (reminder), Alice hasn't been herself and this has been reflected in some way by her getting on the wrong side of her neighbours?
You say you're not sure about the chapter, why is this?"
I used to try an odd thing walking along a street. I'd imagine myself much further up it, visualise the entire thing, the passers-by, everything. And then when i finally got to there I'd have a weird deja-vous - that the people who were passing me where the ones I'd imagined.
Possible madness brought on by frustration brought on by the unreasonably long long long streets we have in abundance near where I live ;-)"
It needs a different ending - more added - so it becomes clearer.
I suppose I think we need to see what's real.
Only when youre talking about perception and reality and subjectivity - how do you show it? because anything can be the truth and anything a lie, it's what you choose to see whether you know it or not. kind of like the Lucid Dream stuff DrPinch is writing."
We have the house now - so the house becomes the new box (what's in The House?), which I like!
But I still would have preferred the lid left on a little longer."
surprise you hmmm - will give it a try.
Nicetameetcha Danni :)"
I'm Danni!! lol"
the plot thickens to the consistency of tomato soup. ;-)"
:-)"
How did you manage to post 4 comments like that btw?
feeling a bit sorry for Alice lol poor woman, whats she done to deserve all this? guess we'll find out soon"