Hyoyeon stood completely still in the middle of the room, red marks showing on her wrists from the hard metal. It was like she never seen that room before, like it was something stranger and mysterious with that room that made her lost in thought.
"What do you do with this desk?"
The doctor calmly asked as he stood beside the wooden desk.
"I write in my diary"
Hyoyeon said before she turned around a looked at the black diary on
top of the desk.
Siwon grabbed the diary and held it up in front of him
"Is this your diary?"
he asked looking slightly puzzled, to show that he never seen this thing in his life.
Hyoyeon said as her eyes never left the diary.
"May i take a look?"
The doctor asked as he looked on the back of the diary.
The blonde girl said, as she sat down on the cold floor.
It smelled blood and disinfectant. Mixed with the smell of hospital.
Siwon opend the diary from the first page,
he never really got the chance to read it thoroughly before.
The first 20 maybe 25 pages where like any other diary or journal,
questions she asked her diary,
things she experienced in the past, things she experienced outside of the hospital,
It was strangly detailed like a manual, written from both of her personalities,
her could tell from the diffrent handwritings.
Sloppy one was her neutral/normal self,
and the beautifuly cursive was her evil/ dark personality.
Like a manual the words was written down, into the last piece of her mind,
later the pages all look the same.
Same words. diffrent numbers.
Thats when her mind stopped being able to function like a normal persons brain,
until then her brain was relatively average.
Well as average a schitzophrenia patient’s mind could be.
Till she could't take being locked up in the hospital anymore and finally lost it, for real, her last piece of sanity faded.
Her last memories disappeared, and was replaced with lies and illusions her brain feed her.
Kim Hyoyeon POV
I smiled at him as he looked though my diary, he looked as handsome as usual,
I felt pain mixed with an unknown feeling inside of my chest,
"Why am i feeling like this?"
I asked myself, low like a wisper that accidently turned to a mumble. Siwon looked up from the diary and directed his attention towards me.
My heart started to tingle, he was so beautiful when he looked almost clueless.
"What was that?"
he asked me in a soft voice
"I love you Choi Siwon."
I said loudly. he smiled at me, happyness showing upon his face.
He put away the diary on my desk.
He looked curius as he asked me if i could show him around.
I grabbed his hand and guided him towards my favorite wall, right beside my bed,
"I love this wall, i don’t know why... it just feels like a emty canvas sometimes."
I said as i stared at the wall, it smelled slightly of blood.
"Is that so?"
he put his hand on my head, he looked like he was in a bliss,
and he was as beautiful ever.
I the look he had on his face reminded me of when we went to a museum together.
Our fingers where intertwined as we looked at the pieces of art around the spacious rooms.
A slight smile made its way up on my lips.
"I remember." i said, i knew he was always intrested when i said that sentace.
"What did you remember?"
He asked as his eyes where looked into mine.
"That day... in the museum." i smiled at him,
he seemed even happier as he took up a folder he was looking though,
after a while he put the folder away and looked at me,
you have never been to a museum before... Siwon said as he took my face in his hands and stared right into my eyes.
his behavior scared me, why was he behaving like this?
I took his hands of me and let them fall to his sides.
"Whats wrong? … why are you... being like this?"
I asked sadly,
He smiled at me.
"I was just kidding, i remember everything."
He said in a reassuring tone. again he flashed his smile at me. i felt happy again.
Siwon looked confused at what what his patient was saying.
She is afraid of museums... atleast thats what his papers said.
Special the only word worthy enough of describing the blonde beauty
telling him what she thought she remembered.
He tried to smile at her but her words where so confusing.
Most of the time he ended up just standing there starring blankly at her.
His brain not taking in what she was saying.
But she flashed him a bright smile,
Siwon knew that again her brain was lying to her.
"I love this wall, i don’t know why... it just feels like a emty canvas sometimes."
She repeated as she looked at the now white wall.
The same wall that had Siwon written on it in blood.
It was her very own canvas indeed. All he could do was to look as though he
faced the biggest mysterium in the universe.
What was so special about this wall?
Everyday he though about that one question.
Something was weird, but not weird enough to be classified as strange
in a mental hospital.
Some people are mysteries, their minds are unique.
Hyoyeon smiled brightly at what her eyes told her where her lover.
Siwon wrote everything she said in a notebook,
she started saying poetic words again.
but this time to herself.
Hyo... don’t try to cover the sky with the palm of your hand.
Hyoyeonie... Where theres smiles, there is pain.
Hyo... Where its Tears there is happyness.
Hyoyeonie... Don’t just stare at a blank canvas, use it to express yourself.
Hyo... Look past the cold metal and into the hot barrel.
Hyoyeonie... I’m not bent, i’m just... broken.
Her voice shifted from sharp to soft.
And her pitch changed, with her sharp tone her pitch was stable
when her voice was soft her pitch was unstable.
It wasn’t like she was talking to Siwon anymore.
Her two minds where arguing with eachother.
in a calm manner luckily.
Her hand started to feel the white wall,
she felt all the small inperfections with her sensitive finger tips.
A smile crept upon her lips.
Siwon quickly stole a glance at her eyes.
Her eyes are filled with hatred and lust again.
He continued to take notes of her bahavior,
Hyoyeon had forgotten that Siwon was in the background watching her.
Thats how her second mind worked, it didn’t see what she didn’t want to see.
Which was perfect for Siwons observations.
She continued to mumble to herself, as she felt her canvas.
"You’re worthless...you where thrown away." she said after awhile.
"No... i’m... i..."
She tried to fight her other personality
"Just admit it, you brat...!" she spat at herself.
Laughter started to echo in the oddly smelling cell.
not her kind pure laughter.
It was an evil corrupted laughter, her eyes was gleaming with hate by now.
Her evil personality was celebrating her win by laughing without taking her eyes of the wall.
"How long do you think you can continue to lie to yourself?"
she asked in a sharp yet creepy tone,
in someway it sounded polite, yet rude at the sametime.
her polite and creepy voice said again.
She turned around, and focused her eyes on her desk,
she quickly walked over and grabbed one of her pencils from one of the drawers.
Then, she simply went over to the wall again,
it looked as if she was about to draw on the wall with the pencil at first,
but a voice in her head told her to not use it in that way.
"Use blood, your own blood"
a soft voice wispered to her.
She stood frozen for a few seconds taking in what the voice told her, before she finally stabbed herself with the pencil,
blood gushing out of the freshly made wound, she dropped the pencil,
before she put her fingertips in the bloody area.
She started to draw with her blood on her favorite canvas.
"Right... Left... Up... Left... Down... Right..."
The same voice guided her in her head.
Soft strokes... Long strokes... Agressive strokes... Short strokes...
The voice gave her very exact explainations on how she would draw,
she stopped every once in a while to refresh her fingertips
with fresh blood from the wound.
She looked almost as if she was lost in bliss, when she drew with blood like fingerpaint.
like a 10 year old girl, getting to play with her favorite doll she wanted for so long.
the same kind of innocence was shown in her eyes.
Siwon moved around her, stunned with her sudden change of behavior,
and mumbles. He wrote everything her heard and saw down in his notebook.
She was indeed an intresting creature, her movements looked slightly robotic from outside, she did a few strokes, then waited for instructions.
Siwon took out his polaroid camera and snapped a few pictures.
Of course she didn’t notice, she was to busy following the directions she was given.
Once she finished what the voice told her to do, she stepped back,
and look at what art she created on the wall.
Siwon snapped another polaroid picture, and quickly put both the picture and camera away,
before Hyoyeon would notice anything.
Hyoyeon had drew what looked like a monster, from those mythical books in the libary,
the ink she used had dripped down on some places making the piece even more scary looking,
if thats even possible.
She once again dampened her fingertips with blood from her still bleeding wound
and started to write something.
Hyo + Won
she drew a heart around it and a bit further down,
Kim + Choi = Love
it was written in a rather sloppy cursive.
Siwon once again took instant photos while Hyoyeon wasn’t noticing he was there.
He took out his cellphone and started to text one of his nurses instructions.
After he finished his text, he put it away.
And slowly approached Hyoyeon from behind, and gave her a backhug.
Hyoyeon started to smile once she felt his body agains hers.
"Do you like it?"
She asked innocently. as a smile spread across her lips.
Hyoyeon pointed towards the bottom of the wall with her bloody fingers where she had written
the names and the small hearts.
Siwon once again felt hurt reading the
Kim + Choi part.
His cellphone started to ring, and he quickly let go of the girl infront of him,
and answered the phone.
"Doctor Lee, i think we need to wait atleast one hour before we can start cleaning up..."
The nurse said,
-2I’m sorry miss, but we can’t wait for that long."
"In that case we have no choice but to drug her, using anesthetic, Sir"
the nurse said as she flipped though a few papers.
"Thats fine, just do it quickly."
Siwon said in a stern voice. before he hung up on the phone.