It was worth it. It really was.
After all if he didn’t have her to care for,
her to look after
her as his patient.
He felt like his mind would stop working.
thinking about her doings, how her brain worked,
kept his mind going, kept a small light in his life.
Some things are meant to be locked away forever
his co-workers used to say.
Why? because they knew that when you open pandoras box
something bad will come with the Greed that caused you to open and explore that rare god given gift.
He didn’t think bad about what thay said to him, yet he didn’t think good of it either.
Hyoyeons mind was like a unexplored labyrinth.
So what if she was like pandoras box?
then he could as well be Arsené lupin, Snatching the box infornt of everybodys
eyes with unbelievable skill.
Taking the box and find what everybody else longed for.
Hyoyeons mind was the key to everything.
all the mystery’s that no doctor, scientist or book could give an answer to.
A old voice could be heard from outside of his office.
He said as fast as he snapped out of his thoughts.
A doctor roughly 50-56 years old entered his large office,
and had a coffe with him which he placed on the table,
Here you go.
"Black just like you want it."
The elder said as he took a seat in front of the desk.
Siwon said as he pulled his fingers through his brown hair.
How long will you keep clinging onto that Hyoyeon kid?
The older doctor asked bluntly.
Siwon smiled to himself, for some reason he felt offended. She wasn’t just anybody
to him anymore.
"First of she is not a kid... she is 21 years old."
Secondly her mind is like an unexplored labyrinth, a forbidden Pandoras box, if i continue to keep her Close, i could find the answers no documentry or sientific Book, could answer... ever.
He replied as he took a sip of the coffe.
"There you go with that pandora’s box theory again..."
The senior doctor said as he rested his chin on the palm of his hand.
"Well whatever you are trying to say. it won’t stop me from getting what i want from her."
Siwon said as he countinued to read another folder.
"So you’re just using her? to find the answers you are seeking? how selfish..." His college said in a bored tone, as he tilted his head slightly to the side.
"I’m not using her.
I’m helping her find herself, and in the process i might find the impossible."
Siwon said in a monotone voice as he flipped page.
"When will you have a therapy session with her?"
The old doctor asked, still extremely bored.
"The nurses should bring her in any minute now..."
Siwon replied after he looked at his wrist-watch,
*knock knock knock*
a nurse entered with Hyoyeon in front of her
Hyoyeon seemed sorrowfull as she walked into the office with her hands cuffed and her slightly damaged body with bandages on more than a few places.
She didn’t lift her head up to look at the doctor who was sitting in her place,
she didn’t even look up to greet Siwon today.
"Both of you... leave"
Siwon said as he pointed towards his college and the nurse who escorted his patient.
Both of them left efter the nurse gave the key’s to the restrictions.
"What’s wrong my dear?"
Siwon asked with a soft tone
"My body... it feels strange.."
Hyoyeon said calmly, her head still hung low, with her cuffed hands on her knees,
eventhough she showed no sign of movement,
Siwon knew that her eyes where silently darting over the office.
"Did you take the medicine i gave you?"
He tried as he looked at her.
Hyoyeon finally lifted her head letting the blond hair fall to it’s place as she looked at him with glazed eyes.
"The red pills?..."
She asked with an empty voice
"ehrm..Yes. How do you feel efter take them?"
The caring doctor asked as he walked to the blonde girls side resting his body on his wooden desk.
"I feel...like crying..."
she said as she looked to her side, to see what she thought
was her lover.
Siwon released her hands from the titanium cuffs, and put them on his desk,
Hyoyeon slowly stood up, and hugged him.
She wanted to feel his warmth, his caring thouch,
it meant everything to her.
Without even realising it she started to cry,
for what she didn’t know herself.
But Siwon knew why, the moment her tears hit his white coat.
She felt empty, hopeless, abandoned, she was thrown away and then locked up, even though she herself didn't know, her subcountiusnes did.
As tears streamed down her cheeks she hugged him closer in an attemt to comfort herself.
"Hush … i’m here, don’t worry i’ll protect you..."
Siwon wispered as he wiped away a few of Hyoyeons tears with his thumb,
without her releasing the tight grip on him.
He started to stroke her blonde locks, her hair was beautiful.
How come something so beautiful, could turn into something so wicked?
he thought to himself.
When Hyoyeon finally stopped crying she let go of his white doctors coat, wiping her remaining tears with the back of her hand. and sat down.
looking at him with eyes that displayed love.
Siwon smiled back at her as he traced her jawline with his fingertips.
Silky smooth skin.
Long blonde locks.
Dark brown eyes.
He listed in his head.
Beautiful like a flower yet wicked like a monster.
Whatever side of her that he was speaking to
those eyes never failed to impress him.
Her slightly masculine facial features with a soft hint
was beautiful like the red sunset.
She was like star,
he once told her that she was pretty like a star in the night sky.
She just looked at him with glazed eyes before she opened her mouth
"Stars are only pretty from afar, once you get to see them up close,
they really aren’t that pretty anymore."
Her somewhat poetic words, made him think that she maybe
understood that she is Diffrent or maybe she just remembered that
she was thrown away by her family, or her brain told her something like
"You feel nothing, you are nothing."
He patted her head as he prayed to himself that she
didn’t see her old lover in him anymore.
Everytime he remembered that it wasn’t him she loved,
it was her former lover who she thought was still alive.
Thanks to his similar looks and name she mixed them up.
or rather, her brain mixed them up. Making her more vulnerable.
his heart hurt, knowing that she didn’t really love him,
she loved the person she thought she saw,
she loved the person her brain gave her an illusion of.
Dubble edged sword...
Thats what she was.
She helped him made him happy and complete,as well as helped with his work.
Yet she at the same time created trouble and a slight burden aswell as made him sad and hurt.
"Nothing with value comes without consequences."
"everything has it’s downsides."
maybe he read to many books, watched to many dramas...
It felt like he himself was in a sad drama, or a tragic love story,
he knew she wasn’t,
and would probably never be able love someone
else besides that man she killed.
Thats why she is in a mental hospital
the trauma she went though was to much for
even her dubble personalities to handle.
The side which she pushed into a corner for so long
finally broke out.
Her brain stopped functioning like a normal brain would.
She felt what her brain wanted her to feel.
She experienced what her brain told her to experience.
She remembered what her brain told her to remember.
but all there thing’s she felt, experienced and remembered
was all incorrect.
Her brain created lies and illusions which it feed both of her personalities.
Possibly worsening her condition more and more.
She slowly stared to turn into a real monster.
After Siwon saw this he realised that a certain quote was indeed true
“We stopped looking for monsters underneath our beds
when we realise they are inside of us”
Hyoyeon was indeed a monster, a carefully crafted one.
"Do you know my name?"
"Of course. Choi Siwon..."
Hyoyeon said calmly but her head hung low again.
Siwon sighed, of course i should have known...
he mumbled to himself.
"So how are you feeling these days?"
he asked as he grabbed a notebook and pen to take notes.
"I don’t know." She simply replied
"do you think we could talk more in your room?"
she said as she looked back up on him again.
Siwon put his notebook and pen away and grabbed the handcuffs.
Hyoyeon stood up and held her hands out for the cuffs
Siwon swiftly locked the chains on her wrists and started to escort her out of his office. She looked quite curius as she walked though the hospital halls. Maybe this was the first time she actually looked around, she glared at everybody who passed by. Almost as if she expected one of them to draw a knife or gun and point it towards her.
Siwon put his hand on her shoulder to calm her down slightly,
when they arived to her cell he took out his keys and opened the door.
Once he closed the door after him, he removed the handcuffs and put them in one of his pockets.