My Real Thoughts


I'm scared. I'm finished. I feel so alone right now. When I look up at the sad moon, I think again... No one says anything. They just pass the situation by and don't even talk about it.

Why do I even feel like this? It's not like I was unaware of the risk of being exposed. Maybe it was the shock. Yes I think so. I'm trying to console myself and run away from the truth. I'm scared to be alone. I'm scared that all my was being uselessly thrown away.

"Why are you like this Terry? It's not like you. It's as if you were stripped naked without any armor to protect you. Stand up strong. Look to the future and not the past. Go on and correct your mistakes. Make things right again. Aren't all of these lines what you said to me before?" Kailyn came up and scolded me.

"I was alone too. Scared of the darkness. It was all a long time ago...

Everyone walks by you. A swarm of people. Are they friends or enemies? They can be a wolf in sheep's clothingm an enemy pretending to be a friend, only to strike when you are down. Is there anyone that can be trusted other than yourself?

I want friends. People that I can trust. But there is no one that can truly understand. Everyone accepts what you say: 'Are you okay?' 'Yeah, I'm fine.' And then they walk away.

Love. It's all a lie. No one can love you for who you are. No matter what, no one is perfect. Love is only a wish that desperate people need. They are stories that a human mind... no all minds create to soothe their own souls.

So, if you have no friends, make some. If they use you, fight back and make them listen to you. Be strong. So what if they don't know you're injured. Everyone is strong enough to take care of themselves. If there is no love, then create all the stories yourself. If you can't hold in all the loneliness and pressure, cry it out. Scream to the world and yell at God for making your life so bad. Time is irreversible, be have our eternity. We can redo our mistakes. So why don't you stand up from your slump. Or, you can cry your heart out from the years of sadness packed into your brain." Kailyn smiled. "We'll wait for you."

Yet at that moment no tears could come out. I was so pitiful I even laugh at myself. If you can't obtain anything from the world, create it. If it exists, find it. Make yourself happy.

"I'm fine now." Kailyn made a face at me and dragged me with the group. "Hurry up, or else you'll miss Aaron and his attempt to sync with his release."

This is a friend. This was how you broke my spell.

The End

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