Whips, Chains and Heart MedicationMature

Rodger is your average, mild mannerd citizen with a secret that could rip his world apart. When worst comes to worst, Rodger must make a choice between the world as he knows it and a world where everything changes forever....

....by the way, did we mention theres Cross Dressing?

I arrived home earlier than usual; Stephen gave me an early finish because the reports for Friday were finished already. I pulled down typical old Kilmore Street in typical old Christchurch City to my apartment complex. I pull into the parking lot and get out, taking my briefcase and locking the door as I head towards the elevator. I see Mr Binks form the room down the hall entering his apartment as I fumble the keys at the door for mine. I finally find the right one and unlock the door to my own world, a place where nobody can tell me what is right or wrong, my own sanctuary. My name is Rodger and I am home.

I make sure the door to my apartment is locked behind me and walk over to my desk, placing my briefcase on it carefully as I always do. Tonight’s meal is a quick one, frozen Egg Foo Yong from the night before last. After I finish off the meal, I make a beeline for the bedroom. There, I close the door behind me and close the curtains. After I make sure everything is safe and secure, I open my wardrobe and see it all. Corset, fishnets, whips, chains, fluffy handcuffs, my tools of the trade, everything I could ever need or want. I take it all out and place it on the bed neatly, all in order and in place. I take off my clothes and throw them in the corner, they are not who I really am, they are just smoke and mirrors to please the business men at work. I slowly place the clothes upon me, unwinding into they reality of my own world. After I put on the platform boots and high heals, I go into the bathroom and apply the heavy makeup and wig, finally, I take a step back at myself. I look like something out of Rocky Horror Picture Show, a man in drag, a Sweet Transvestite. I have no shame in admitting it. My name is Rodger and I am a Transvestite of the Night.

I first start by clamping the pink fluffy handcuff to my wrist and attaching the other end to the bed post, then grabbing the whip and proceeding to spank myself with it. It hurts and feels wrong, but oh so right at the same time. Pain and Pleasure go hand in hand, but this is merely the foreplay. My heart now racing, I go for the body lotion. I rub it deeply into my body, my chest hair starting to feel wet from the lotions smooth properties. Finally, time for the main event, my final release. It feels so good, it really releases me. The absolute pleasure clouds my senses, all of my hard work and effort all goes into this final push, deeper and deeper, harder and harder until the final big push, the final big….that doesn’t feel normal. Something doesn’t feel right, I’m released, but this just doesn’t feel normal. My breath is short; I can’t feel the normal heart pounding that comes with the pleasure. This is not normal. I check my pulse but can’t find the right vein before realizing there isn’t a heart beat because my heart is not beating. I’m having a Cardiac Arrest, a Heart Attack. Ok, I need to slow down; I need to think about what’s going on. I can’t die here…no, I WONT die here. There has got to be something to help around here. There isn’t anything I can see or get to like this. I’m lying on the floor, still in my real clothes. My name is Rodger and I am a dyeing Transvestite.

I need to get outside and somehow call for help, I can’t die here, even though there is nothing else to live for. My wife left me and took the children in the divorce after she walked in on me being myself one night, she couldn’t handle what I was really like. I thought your soul mate was supposed to be the person who loved and accepted you no matter who you are, she must not have been my soul mate then. But this is no time to be thinking about her, I need to get out of here. I make a crawling break for the door but stop when I get to the door, the pain is to much, I can hardly stand it. But something else is stopping me, then I realize the truth. If I go outside and get help right now, I live but the whole world will know about my real self. Or I sit in here, protect my secret and die with it. My name is Rodger and I am a Transvestite with a choice to make.

On the one hand, people will never look at me the same, ill be a social outcast. They won’t see Rodger anymore; they will see the Freaky Transvestite underneath the false skin they normally see. Then I have to live with the shame and ill probably have to give up the thing I love the most. All I need to do is crawl down the hallway and knock on Mr Binks’s door and ill be alive. On the other hand, I sit in here and die doing what I love and being truly happy. I won’t live with the shame of what people see me as and I leave a legacy as a scared man who couldn’t do anything but hide form the world. My name is Rodger, and I have made my decision.

I crawl back over to my bed and slowly fall onto my sheets, my breath is getting short and my heart is finally still and unmoving. I reach down and grab my whip and handcuffs and feel them against my soft palms for the last time. My eyes finally start to close and as I take my last breath, I say “My name is Rodger, and I died doing what I love. I am a Transvestite.” 

The End

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