I am reely, reely sure that I don't want to be a psghetty famrer bechos my mom says thut money duzzint grow on trees and then i wooduv spent all my money on groawing psghetty and dont no more half any munny.
And then i dun want to bee a lizzird unspactor like Kimmee Allun becos she says she has to bee the furst one but thats good becors she's fat and smelly and i dont like her. She should be a cootees unspactor.
I'm gurna bee an Inglish teechir but not like Mistir Codd becorse then my momm says his wyfe is a youseless drunk.
Billy Kollins Kawlins
My wife is a useless drunk!