You all know the little rhyme Humpty dumpty. The one where he sat on a wall, well here it is, with the goody sweet ending gone and totally twisted, have fun.
Humpty was sitting on the wall, Pondering life, he had salmonella again, the bad part of becoming an egg, I had gone, the king and his men had made sure of it, It was a strange treatment, boiling in water for around 8 minutes, oh well it had worked, The strange thing was that the king was buying a lot of sausage meat and bread.
Humpty was still contemplating when a pair of men, were sneaking up being him, one with a giant frying pan, the other with a knife, when they got into position they signalled the man on the top of the tower.
The sniper shot at humpty; he fell into the pan and was unconscious. He woke up about an hour later in three parts, one was hard boiled and seemed to be covered in sausage meet, the other spread out and, finally, his shell adorned the armour of the king himself. Humpty stared down the hall and saw two things that would haunt him for the rest of his life, a giant scotch egg and a giant fried egg. With all the men tucking in. From that day on the kings armour has always had a pair of eyes in the back and front. One to watch the scene, to other to stop people turning him into any type of food, for he felt it all, from that day the king never got hurt. The Humpty armour stopped a person turning him into a swish kebab, for that is a type of food after all.