Poseidon Gets Profiled

"What's your name, sir?" the meek little man in the suit asked.

"Poseidon," the god of the sea grumbled back.

"Surname?" the meek little man asked.

"Surname? What the Hades do you mean, surname, I'm just Poseidon?" Poseidon asked.

The man groaned. "But what is your family name, sir?" he asked.

Poseidon thought for a second. "The Olympians," he said.

"Poseidon.... Olympian...," the man said to himself as he wrote it down. "Do you have an occupation, sir?" he asked.

"What do you mean 'occupation', you mean a mortal job? I am the god of the sea, I need no mortal job!" Poseidon said. "I give you quests, you don't give me quests," he said.

"Nationality?" the man asked.

Poseidon sighed. These mortals truly thought that he was one of them. "Greek-Roman," Poseidon said. "My Roman side of the family calls me Neptune," he said.

"Date of birth?" the man replied.

"How am I supposed to know that?" Poseidon asked.

The man looked up at the god of the sea then back at his paper.

"Parents?" he asked.

"Kronos and Rhea," Poseidon said. "They were Titans. Horrible parents," he said.

"Any children?" the man asked.

"Bunches. There's Theseus, and Triton. Then there's Antaeus. And Dictys. Do you really want me to name them all?" Poseidon asked.

"I'd prefer you tell me the names of all of your children," the man said. So Poseidon did, and the large list was quite surprising.

"And are these all from the same wife?" the man asked.

"What? No! Of course not!" Poseidon said.

"Would you mind listing all of your wives?" the man asked.

That took a while too.

"All right, you can go back to your cell," the man sighed, and Poseidon left.

The End

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