The God of the Sea Meets the Fuzz

Poseidon was pretty mad right now, and usually you didn't want to get the god of the sea mad, but at the moment he seemed to be just another man. A man with a big beard, but nevertheless a man.

Oceanus had disappeared. Poseidon had gone to go ask him why his powers had suddenly disappeared, but the god of the ocean had disappeared. Which gave Poseidon the idea that this was Oceanus's fault. And when he found that old Titan jerk... Shoulda known to never trust a Titan.

"Aw shut up!" Poseidon yelled at the second girl-scout today. Except this time he couldn't smite her. Right now he didn't feel like smiting, right now he felt like causing a tsunami, an earthquake, right now he felt like washing away this entire idiot city. Poseidon groaned and looked around at his surroundings. Well, now what? And why? Hades, couldn't Zeus just zap him back up and explain it to him?

"Zeus! Bring me back!" Poseidon shouted at the sky. Nothing happened. Not even a rumble, not a bit of rain.

"Sir, I'll need to ask you to calm down," someone said, and Poseidon felt a hand on his arm. Another mortal hand on his arm. That was the third time today!

"Unhand me!" Poseidon yelled, turning towards the perpetrator. It was a young police officer, somewhere in his young twenties.

"Sir, I'm going to need you to calm down now, sir!" the police officer said, yelling now.

Poseidon's eyes widened further. "QUIET, MORTAL, OR I SHALL BRING THE SEAS DOWN UPON YO-

"FREEZE, JERKFACE!" the police officer screamed back, pulling out his gun. This old guy was crazy!

Poseidon looked down at the gun. He knew it was a mortal weapon, and he knew how they worked, because of a long speech Hephaestus had given all the gods when he'd first created it.

"Put your hands behind your head, sir!" the cop said.

Poseidon laughed. It was like a mouse aiming a block of cheese molded to look like a weapon at a very large cat. Of course, Poseidon always imagined himself as more of a very deadly narwhal, or squid.

"You think you can defeat a god of the sea with your puny earth weapons? I was there when they created it!" Poseidon said.

"Put your hands behind your head right now, sir, or I'll have to use force!" the cop said.

Poseidon started to laugh again, and kept laughing till he was almost doubling over. And then he got tazed.

"YOU IDIOT MORTALS, YOU PUNY BEINGS OF DASTARDLY-NESS, YOU DAAARREE FIGHT THE GOD OF THE SEA, I'LL SMITE ALL OF YOU, I'LL SMITE YOUR CURSED BUTTS OFF, I'LL SEND HADES ON YOUR BEHINDS, YOU COME BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!" Poseidon rumbled at the police officers, gripping the bars tightly and roaring at the multiple guards.

"Whaddoya think we should do with him? Hand him over to the boys in the white suits?" one of the cops muttered to another. His name was Hale.

"I dunno, he doesn't look old, but look at that beard he's got, man!" the other cop said, who's name was Hank.

"That's why I think he's crazy, he's just some random hobo guy!" Hale said.

"Well then lets just let him go!" Hank said.

"I dunno, I mean technically he was disturbing the peace," Hale said.

"He's just a crazy hobo, let's just let him go, he's busting my ears!" Hank said.

"Man, I'm worried he's gonna start throwing punches, I mean, he's buff, you know?" Hale said.

"Let's just let him go, man," Hank said.

"Fine," Hale said.

That night Hale went home with a black eye and two missing teeth.

The End

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