"Hey!", you shout as you jump up and down waving your arms frantically at the auctioneer.

"You sir, the man in the flannel pajamas and Raybans", speaks the auctioneer, pointing at you

"I'd like to bid on....", you start

"I'll take him!", says the mexican man behind him

The auctioneer, his attention turned to the burly mexican man with the tanned hairy chest, pauses and waits for him to continue.

"I'll take the cabalero in the pajamas!", says the mexican man with the thick moustache

"We'll start the bidding at thirty two dollars", says the auctioneer, holding his hand to his stomache as if he has heartburn.

"What?", you exclaim, and stare ape faced in horror as the crowd begins bidding on what appears to be you!

The bidding escalates and you try to pipe up amidst the furor but your voice is lost in the crowd.  After a whirlwind of frenzied activity, the auctioneer bangs his gavel and presents you to the mexican bidder for the princely sum of sixty four dollars and one rubber dinghy.

"I can't be sold!", you blurt out, "I have to be back at work on Tuesday!"

"Pleased to meet you hombre.  My name is Javier", says your new Mexican owner.

"What?", you sputter.

"Come on now, follow me, senor.  We have houses to clean and mouths to feed.  Endelez!"

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Before you ask -- I wrote this back in 1999. It was on my original first-take for the CYOA site concept, so I figured I'd toss it up here as a keepsake. I realize it's probably not up-to-snuff with my current stuff here, but I thought it was funny and it was one of the stories I launched this site with, so it's here for nostalgia's sake more than anything. :) Play on!

updated Sep 3 '08 by nickb