21st December, 2070, Berlin, Germany
I keep having to stop to take deep breaths. I've never had the intention of killing a man before, I've never wanted to kill a single living thing in my entire life.
Not until now.
The wave of noise that hits you is hard to adjust to when you first arrive in today’s Berlin. Back in England there is next to no new technology, and even the pre 2020’s technology that you can see back there is barely used anymore.
Because no one can afford to use it.
It’s sickening really, that this Ulrich Wolf character believes that he has to use economic sanctions and poverty to force people to join this religion that…that drives people insane! Well, at least that’s what it did for my wife.
I look around me as I’ve moved away from the station towards the main Bolo centre. That’s apparently the ball-vehicle, modern day equivalent to the good old taxi service. And it’s free?! I suppose that’s only because the people here feel too guilty about scamming us outsiders, they know they’ve got enough luxuries in their lives as it is.
The only reason this diary entry is in present tense is because the first time (and last, as a family) we visited here we were offered gifts of technology: whatever we wanted. Of course I refused, point blank. But Tina was ‘wiser’ and took them up on their offer, and bought a ‘simple’ device that records the thoughts that I admit the most strongly and types them up on to the document for me. Plus it will record external voices so long as I pre-programme it to. Of course, I’ve done it for Ulrich, not surprising that he came first on the search list for U.
Luckily for me (and for Maddy) Sally and Frank have agreed to look after Maddy for me while I’m away. I feel so horrid, just leaving my daughter like that, but I don’t want her wrapped around in my misery, I don’t want her to mourn her mother forever just because I will. I want her to grow up happy and carefree, with parents who love her almost as much as I do, who will treat her as an equal in the family. And, she’s seven…Oh God’s sake! It’s no use trying to make up excuses about how it’s not too bad that I’m practically abandoning my daughter!
I know if I do manage to kill him I’ll either: escape and be hunted down, and ultimately, whether done quickly or slowly, will be put in jail for life, heck, maybe even tortured or forced to join them.
And if I don’t… Well, that’s the thing. I just don’t know.
I’m in the ball thing now. God it is weird! You just sit there, in this non-moving chair, while the thing just rolls and rolls. At any moment it just woah! Swerves unexpectantly, but surprisingly, your seat kind of cushions you from the motion.
I’ve just thanked the conductor and now I’m standing on the cool marble courtyard/garden floor. Gulp.
My legs feel like jelly as I walk to the grand open doors. Gulp.
Shit he’s right there, smoking a cigar.
“Quincey? Lyle Quincey isn’t it? I’m so glad you decided to come back for another visit!”
Don’t pretend to not know my name you douche bag. My hands start to shake as I pull the handgun out of my internal jacket pocket. It’s pointed at him now. I could pull the trigger, right now. Of course I don’t have the guts. Apparently it’s a good gun, Frank tells me, I bloody well hope so.
“Now now my man, there’s no need for a gun, is there?” I hate the way he’s managed to make his accent sound so…British! Of course he was taught how to when he was my age or younger I’m sure. I spit on the floor next to me in disgust. And he’s just, laughing?! Gah!
“Oh come on now, we both know you’re not going to use that thing.” He leans in closer to me.
My skin is crawling.