Hey, what's up? I am, it seems....
Who's that down there, lying on the bed, all wired up to machines and shit? Nah! Can't be me. I'm up here.
''Caroline? Caroline! She's arrested. Call the code, quick!''
A flurry of activity. Never seen those nurses move so quickly. They weren't so fast when I called for a bedpan yesterday, almost had an accident, didn't I?
Maybe it is me. It looks a bit like me but I've never seen my lips that colour before - I look a bit Goth. Rather attractive, except for the half-open, glazed eyes. That's not a good look at all. And I wish I'd had a hairwash yesterday when that little nursing assistant offered. You could fry burgers in that grease. Yuck!
Oi you, pull my nightie down. How embarrassing is that? Rolls of fat and saggy boobs, and when did I last shave my legs? Oh no - there's that doctor who looks a bit like Ewan McGregor. Oh, the embarrassment. What's he doing? Not very gentle, is he? Don't maul me about like that. Good grief, I'm not a lump of bread dough, stop kneading me, already! You can go right off people, you know. Honestly, the nerve of some folks.
What's this? A tunnel. Going down it as fast as a tube train. Mind the gap.
Voices; the doctor: Asystole. Adrenaline. More voices - one of them familar, at the end of the tunnel: Caroline, come to Nanna, I'm here waiting for you darlin'
V-Fib! Charging 240! Clear!
Caroline. Nanna's here! Come on darlin'
Charging; 240! Clear! Still in V-Fib. We're losing her, folks. Come on Caroline!
Come on Caroline, Nanna's waiting.
What a miserable face; a mean, crabby old face, a nasty, whinging voice. Mean old hag. I'd never been able to stand my grandmother. I turn around.
Charging: 360! Clear! Wait. Wait!
Back in sinus rhythm! We got her back, guys!
I look up, into blue, concerned eyes.
Hello, Doctor Gorgeous. Can you pull my nightie down now?