Pressure is Not My Strongpoint

"Oh! Oh, my little girl is all grown up and married!" my very loud, overweight, black mother hollered at a volume only she could accomplish. However, my twig-like father sat in his rocker in silence. 

"How did he ask you? How did Collin ask you? Did he get down on one knee? Did you stutter? You always did have a stuttering problem when you nervous girl. I done said to your father, I says, Joe, we have got to get that child some speech therapy or somethin'. Thats what a say, but does yo father ever listen to anyone? I tellin' ya he don't. He don't ever listen. Once we was on our way out of the country on an airplane, and lord, yo father was just a pain in the neck! In fact-" 

"Mama, please!" I nearly shouted to be heard. 

"What, baby? Oh, yeah, yo story! Sorry baby! So, what happened?" 

As I sat there in morning sun at the breakfast nook with my coffee, I didn't know how to quite answer my mother's question. Hundreds of perfectly good lies swam around in my head. 

"Um, well, it uh, went great!" I pulled out one of my not so fancy lies. He asked me, and I said yes." Lord knows I wanted to tell her how much I didn't want to marry Collin. 

"Oh, that's good!" replied my mother, not quite so enthusiastic as before. My mama really had a talent for knowing when something was wrong. "So, so where is the ring?"

"Um, I must have left it in my room." She looked at me curiously. "Why don't you have it-"

"Well mama, I'm gonna' go call Lucy." I said quickly getting up table with my coffee in hand.

"Okay baby, talk to you later." she called after me. Then I heard her talking to my father who hadn't opened his mouth all morning. He started to talk, but I didn't much care. He and my mother were probably going to discus in detail the stationary and china for my wedding. I did not have the patience or the sanity for that. I picked up my phone and quickly punched in the number I had memorized  years ago. The number of my best friend. 

 "Hey, Sweetie." I said as she answered the phone. 

"Hi Olive. What's up?" she asked.

"Um, well, you know. I got my hamster a new cage. And, uh Collin asked me to marry him." I replied, trying to break it gently, and not freak her out. At the same time, I was doing that for her just as much as I was doing it for me. I couldn't have anymore people screaming at me.

"Excuse me?" She was getting her, don't mess with me voice. I knew it well. 

"He did what?" 

"He asked me to marry him."  

"How? When?" 

"Oh, god, not that question again." I begged. "Can you just come over? I-I want to talk in person."

"I'll Be right over." The line clicked.

The End

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