Green to Green

Dear Gavin,

You always said you wanted to hear my innermost thoughts unfiltered, you always said you wished to read my writing. Here is a gift of the two combined.

Green eyes peers out from under dark lashes, searching for clues about the unknown character across the room. Green eyes contacted with green eyes, and he smiled at her and crossed the drama floor. Away from the distance of group dynamics, the two turned internally to navigate such close interactions. Insecure, she resolved to portray the inner ditz who didn't understand.

"Hey, will you teach me how to be seductive? My role is a mystical wonderous fairy."

His insecurities leaped to fill the silence and close the distance by taking charge. He laughed effortlessly and proceeded to teach her the most degrading feminine poses, and she ignored feminist feelings inside to combine her rare soft laughter with his loud flamboyant one. 

She walked home that day excited to have met someone so openly expressing the enthusiasm she repressed, while trying to leash her pondering of potentials.

Regardless to say, she was excited to make an impression on him the next drama class. He wasn't there. Disappointment dampened her energy and she struggled to make use of the "wasted" class. Instead, she casually gathered general information so she would not make immediate and misleading assumptions. Unfortunately, she was furthermore intrigued.

Next drama class she approached the door with reserved excitement. Although she promised herself she was there for the acting, an urge to smile overwhelmed her as once again green met green. She fought the natural instinct to hug him, reminding herself they had only met once, and proceeded to distance their interactions with overanalyzed logic. She busied herself with drama commitments, yet found herself scanning the room for her new challenge. He made eye contact with her every time she looked his way. The end of drama came along, and with it dissatisfaction. Built up missed opportunities and endless amounts of self created "no I can't because" caused clashing waves of caution and action, and her upset wasn't going to get resolved by giving up. She grabbed her bag and burst through the door in the direction of his retreating back. Excuseless, she pulled up beside him hoping to make the best of something beyond the safe zone.

Polite conversation turned to honest opinion and she revealed her inner feminist, nudist, and volnerable traits at the mercy of judgement. To her surprise she was met with sympathy and understanding, and similar stories. When it came time to part, they stood on the curb stalling to go their seperate ways alone. They both walked away with secret smiles and a positive outlook on the budding potentials.

Drama classes came and passed, and they made a tradition to walk home together,  every time finding it an increasing challenge to part. They would spend hours chatting on the curb, laughing about how the most exciting conversations always came just as they needed to seperate. Often they would skip going home just to spend more time walking and talking and laughing and joking.  She thought it was more than just convenience they lived so close. He thought they should make the most of it. They discussed plans of sneaking out. 

The thought scared her, full of unknown, yet at the same time excited her because of the uncharted water. They planned their meeting and she snuck out to meet him halfway in the pouring rain. She danced and laughed in her colorful clothing while he trotted contently beside her, ignoring his dislike for the rain by planning the type of cookies they would make. He called himself a cat, loving calm warm comfort. She called herself a dolphin, free and passionate. He pulled her wild dancing inside to the confining comfort of warm house and cookies. They laughed as they failed to make penis shaped cookies and dropped them in each other's milk when the other wasn't looking. She walked home that night flooded with a calm happiness so unknown to her. She resolved that night never to date him and loose this rare sparkless comfort, while he resolved the opposite.

They made plans to do it again, and soon they were sitting side by side on a couch in an empty house deep in conversation. There was never an idle moment of awkward lack of conversation. Instead there was an abundance of excitement of agreement, or challenging playful disputes resolved through tickling battles she always lost.

He pulled her into his lap, sending a wave of spark through her, a series of goosbumps, a shower of excitement. He showed her what a butterfly kiss was, tickling her check with his eye lashes. She retaliated with an eskimoe kiss, nudging noses together. Then he pulled her close and breathed a kiss onto her lips, and she looked up at him, green to green, in confusion. 

"What does this mean? What are we now?"

And he exploded her world of confinement by definement. They wouldn't submit to a world of labels, so they would merely be. They were together, but not confined to the labels of boyfriend and girlfriend.

She was happy. Her mood soared, her patience gained endurance, confedance followed her into the room. 

They would talk for hours every day, and he would trample her self critisism with complements. He would return the next day full of counter arguments of things she had said before, and the conversation was always fueled.  She found herself laughing more, freed from a world of judgement. She breathed excitement and happiness into his life. Things weren't perfect, but even their fights made them closer. Both were good when it came to talking about emotions, and while their arguments caused so much pain, they were able to pin point the problem and learn from them.

One night they had gone out to see a movie, and were walking home together with high tension in the air. Enduring tough conversation and pain came to reveal he felt he wasn't getting as much out of the relationship as he had wanted, and she was confused about the boundaries of their relationship and was resistant to displays of affection because she had never kissed anyone before and was embarrassed to show her lack of experience. 

He won over her trust that night, pulling her close, releasing expectations, and embracing her as she was. An embrace full of warmth calmed the tension and emmited sparks of passion. She glowed in his presence. He had the magical touch. He taught her to love herself, and disregard others opinions because she felt reassured by his passionate gaze. She exposed him to things, she made him feel loved, she gave him a reason to be proud of their relationship.

Things were content. They saw each other nearly every day. Their enthusiasm never ran thin. They brought out the best in each other. Their relationship soared to euphoric heights.

Unfortunately whatever comes up must come down, and cats always land on their feet.

Their time together was severed by temporary distance as she swam away to other wonders of the world.

The End

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