The End...or not?Mature

I told Adam everything that happened, knowing he’d get a kick out of it. He never did like Andre. I sometimes wondered if that was the reason he had dumped me. I was right; Adam laughed and laughed and laughed. I laughed with him. It felt good. Like it used to be, before all this emotions and junk got us screwed up.

Maybe, just maybe, in time we would be friends once again. Maybe we never would. Maybe no one I knew now would continue into my life later. I didn’t know, the future was constantly shifting. All I knew was I was never going to be entirely alone and that maybe…just maybe…the world wasn’t ending.

I should’ve known optimism would’ve gotten me nowhere. It was Saturday, the 17th I believe. I had just come in from playing with Scruffy outside. I don’t even know what happened. I saw my mom in tears and by supper she had stormed out angry. We sat down and ate supper as my dad reached for the last steak I spoke out.

“Shouldn’t we leave that for mama?” I said concerned. “She’ll be really mad when she comes home and sees how ‘insensitive’ we were.” I bit my lip.

“Oh well. If she wants to go and storm out like that then she can get her own food.” He replied stabbing the slab of meat. This was not going to turn out right.

I was outside when my mom came home with Scruffy once again. He had gotten himself stuck beside the garage and as usual we were trying to get him out. My mom helped us and then she went inside. Explosion extraordinaire. My parents were screaming and yelling at each other over a piece of meat! I couldn’t believe it. I fled down stairs and started to frantically typing to Brieanne. She understood parental problems best.

I was also talking to my aunt over facebook. Turns out my cousin Kyle’s girlfriend Sarah had her baby. It was a boy and they named it Carson Michael. I was supposed to print a picture out of him and give it to grandma and grandpa tomorrow. Grandma and grandpa helped us at the mission at my Baba’s senior center. We were going there tomorrow for church. It had been  a month since the last time we were there. A whole month since my finger, and Adam…

I thought of Adam. My heart started to ache for how badly I missed him. Brieanne’s boyfriend Kayden had moved to New Zealand. Yesterday she was absolutely crying over how much she missed him and today he had shown up at her door. At least some people got their fairytale endings, or at least, a chance to experience a fairytale. My Cinderella story had once again come to an end.

My heart started to mourn for the loss. Come Back, it cried. I miss you! I Love You! Tears poured from my heart but my face remained impassive. I could feel my heart searching for Adam’s, looking for the comfort and joy that had once been there. Reaching out to explain to beg to plead, but there was nothing, nothing at all. I felt my shoulders shake at the tremendous force inside me. Then the msn alert flashed. Andre was talking to me, distracting me from the ongoing slaughter inside me. The slaughter of love, the love slaughter, what an oxymoron. 

Eventually I found myself thinking about school and logged onto parent connect. You could see the marks you got on your assignments, your class averages, everything! I decided I would check out my class averages today.

“Holy Smokes!!!” I cried, staring at the computer screen.

“What?” my dad asked turning around from his seat on the couch.

 “My social average is a ninety-nine! That’s awesome!” I let out a laugh.

“Yeah that’s pretty cool!” My dad said with enthusiasm. If there was one way I could always make my dad proud it was in good marks.

I saw Fatima was online and thought I’d share my wonderful news. She didn’t share in my enthusiasm at all.


Ok so?


She replied when I told her. Someone was in a bad mood.

Church the next morning was pretty hectic. I was running around the “chapel” trying to keep the seniors on the same page, which is a lot harder than it sounds. You can show them exactly where you are in the book, walk away, and then they turn the page.

The day was pretty calm and boring. I was trying to convince my mom to take me to Londonderry mall but to no avail. I watched a whole bunch of Halloween shows on family channel and then went on facebook. One new message in my inbox.


Adam Zeilinger October 18 at 4:17pm

You’re a slut


I couldn’t believe a thing I was reading. Adam Zeilinger was calling me slut. Anger hurt pain, it all swelled inside me. I could feel the opening space as the crack in my heart split apart. I realized the acid that was leaking through was my love for him. My burning love that stung the open wounds of my heart. How I despised it.  


Adam Zeilinger

Sorry that was my friend he somehow figured out my password


I breathed a sigh of relief but my heart was still aching. I could feel tears come to my eyes as I wished for the thousandth time Adam was mine again. I felt it the moment he stopped. It was why I had felt so sick, so uneasy. It was if I had been holding him in my arms and then suddenly, I held a limp, lifeless corpse in my arms.

          Adam kept trying to convince me to add his “cool” friend. I declined. Anyone who called me a slut was not on my list of cool people. But Adam persisted.



I'm not adding him


Adam  October 18 at 4:28pm



Tatiana October 18 at 4:29pm

Cause I don’t know him and he made a horrible first impression

so no


Lol but he is cool


Tatiana October 18 at 4:31pm

No, I don't think so


Adam  October 18 at 4:32pm



Tatiana October 18 at 4:33pm

NOBODY WHO CALLS ME SLUT WITHOUT KNOWING ME do I define as cool. More like rude and obnoxious and no, I can't take a joke if that’s what you are thinking


Adam  October 18 at 4:34pm

¨hey this is Adams friend nico. I’m sorry I called u a slut I didn’t mean it I just wanted to annoy Adam because I hacked his profile so please add me


I sighed. I wanted Adam, both of them, to leave me alone, but when they didn’t reply I felt quite empty. Then he sent me a message begging again. I don’t know why I did it. I don’t know what unknown force compelled me to do it. Maybe it was my need to please Adam, my undeniable, unbearable, irrational love for him. God I needed a boyfriend.

Then the stupid duo made a horrible comment, a stupid mistake. As soon as I figured out how I was deleting that damn request. Stupid fag. Anger surged inside me.

Then the dunce had to go and apologize. My bad parents fighting/world upside down day was not going too great. I wish I could run away and hide but unfortunately, life didn’t work that way.

I sat on the computer listening to the muffled voices of my parents arguing in the basement below. It was never going to end was it?








October 18 at 4:31pm
October 18 at 4:28pm
October 18 at 4:21pm



The End

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