I haven't decided...YET...

What is it that makes us want to do something when we are ickle creatures?

Is it the hope of making lots of money being a film star or saving someones live by being a doctor?

Maybe it isn't the fame, glitz, glamor and intelligence of those who have already made it to the top that inspire our young minds and steer us toward specific vocations. Or maybe it is... I'm not too sure.

The only thing I have ever wanted to be is good for something, t have had someone at my funeral (in the very distant future - I hope) say that I was a good friend and did something right at least once.

I could never understand how I should do this... when I was very little (about five or so) my main ambition was to be a doctor, was was forever writing 'Doctor Rebekah' on my pencil case and books. (and I couldn't actually read until I was eight so this was an amazing feat!)

But when I found out that being a doctor meant surgery and broken bones sticking out in odd places the novelty soon wore off.

Then I decided I would be a ballerina, however my clumsy nature and typically forgetful (when it came to dates/lessons etc...) meant that this would never be the job for me, but hey every seven year old wants to be a ballerina... right?

After that when asked by relatives called 'Aunt Alice' or 'Uncle Jack' what I wanted to be when I was a grown up because - "You were only so high last time I saw you. So next time I'll see you'll be married with children!" - Say this to any eight to twelve year old and soon family reunions and picnics no longer mean barbecues and unlimited amounts of fizzy pop and cakes, it means a life action plan speech and comments on how much you've grown etc... but I always said I wanted to be a writer or a poet because it really meant I didn't need to decide yet and that I could sit down and say nothing and everyone would think I was thinking... but it usually meant more questions about genre/character names. (as if I know yet, I'm eight!)

This stage lasted until I was twelve.

The next idea about a job was to be a comedian - this was later quashed but the fact  - 'I'm just not funny' - but hey it doesn't stop Jonathan Ross (Wossy)!

But the revelation about the not funny thing was only two weeks later (much too long after in many peoples opinion).

Then I dreamt of being a Vet (see - a slight twist on the doctor) and as I'd got over the 'eww, blood, guts and bones' thing it seemed like a good idea... but the ide never realy caught on, it never seemed right.

Or a dentist... you never know, I could be a dentist! Or not.

I don't know exactly what I really want to be now... an author or poet does seem enticing but really it's more of a hobby unless I'm good enough...

So I'd better sit back and relax, watch where I'm going and remember my toothbrush... It could be 'Ratius in Space' or 'Ratius tops Charts' or - well you get the picture, anything...

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The End

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