"Rufus, get off the table. Rufus get out of the sink . Rufus get off the computer table". Rufus stop eating the bedspread!"

That's my mom. She just won't let an adventurous cat have any fun at all. I love my mom a lot, but sometimes I don't like her very much.

I like my dad better. He laughs and laughs when I get into trouble. Mom  just gets out the water bottle. It can spray water from quite a ways!

Water doesn't work. Yelling at me doesn't work. Bribery works sometimes, though.

Bribery is the only way to get me down off the china cabinet . If she tries to grab me, all those stupid breakable ornaments that live up there will get broken.

I like those crunchy little treats that are supposed to keep the tartar off my teeth. It's not working. I like to chew on grass. Sometimes I have green teeth.

I don't get to go outside without my harness on. My people latch my harness onto a rope that won't let me go out of the backyard.

I want to roam around the neighbourhood, and have some real fun. My people are such spoil sports.

My people leave the door open to the back shed so I can run inside if I want to.

The back shed has no ceiling, just rafters holding up the roof. I like to climb up into the rafters sometimes when I'm still attached to the rope. I like to sit up on a beam and watch my people running around following my rope so they can find me.

People can be really dumb, don't you think?

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What would your pet tell you if it could talk? It doesn't even have to be a pet. It could be a squirrel sitting in your tree, chattering at you. What is it saying? Your story can be any amusing or amazing tale that an animal might tell you if you were listening. Sort of a Dr. Dolittle theme. Animals have no morals when it comes to amorous adventures, so try to keep it non mature. Have fun, and go nuts.

updated Feb 23 '09 by moonwalker