I came on this excursion because... I don't know why... I'd been working so hard.. non stop. A night on a yacht sounded relaxing..
I was an eel in a pool of great whites, I snaked through the pool stinging and electrifying whomever and whatever got in my way. There was no trust, I learned early on when someone extended their hand, it didn't mean they were your friend.
It was amazing to me, I watched the women sashay around, flaunting their goods, they didn't know how the men talked about them, they didn't see or didn't care about the sly winks, or the push ups against them..
I was called "Dry Ice" Not very flattering, at first it hurt because, in my naivete~ I had misconstrued some friendships. I was so eager to be friends, I found myself at the receiving end of pats on the a-- and slight rubs against my breasts. When I complained, one of the partners told me that was just the way things were. I went one higher, I was told I dressed provocatively and I was basically asking for it.
So, I carried a micro recorder with me at all times. I did not change my dress but, when I received a pat, I commented on it and promptly slapped the man.. When my breasts were touched, I commented on it and grabbed a handful of... well, let's just say, some of the voices have become a couple of octaves higher..
One gentlemen decided to file a complaint against me. After walking into his office with my tape and letting him hear it, he promptly withdrew his complaint and word spread like wildfire.. I became known as "Dry Ice"
I understand the invite now:
The water is so cold. I am kicking my legs, I'm getting tired. I understand the invitation now because, I'd been truly surprised at first. I let my guard down, I wanted so hard to believe it was a gesture of.. what, good will? I should have known better.
How did I fall for this, when he called me to the rail, I'd had a feeling, why didn't I pay attention? DAMMIT! It was so quick, I didn't even have time to scream, realization sank in when I hit the cold water..
I wonder what they are going to tell everyone when they get back?
"Oh god, something just touched my leg.." I can't see through the water, it's too dark.. My legs are cramping, think, think!
There it is again.. what is it?, it's cold, hard. I am so tired, how long have I been here? I think I will just sleep.....
I let myself go limp, my body hurt, my eyes drooped, my hands were cold and numb. I couldn't bring anything to my mind but then, there were thoughts of things I hadn't done. Things that I would miss? How could I miss anything, if I were dead.. funny thought, would anyone miss me?
And I heard it, a low moan, rising in pitch until it reached a crescendo.. it surrounded me, enveloping me in warmth, then another, a little higher and I felt myself lifted and cradled.. The songs were sad but, beautiful all the same.. they echoed out, past my ears, they touched my heart and made me sigh, a third song, I put my arms out to my sides and just allowed myself to float, to listen, to understand things that were more important than my self. Listening to them, I realized I was just a minute part of all things.. I listened, turning my head I saw the plumes of water shooting from the spouts.. I thanked god..
I had been allowed this beautiful thing at the end..