Short story. Somehow I ended up on the ceiling...
I woke up on the ceiling. Precisely to the right of the window and behind the fan, right above my bed. My covers were draped down my body, dangling like curtains. With a bird’s eye view, I gazed at my room, still bleary-eyed and half asleep. My first thought was not panicky, nor was I afraid. I was actually quite calm. How will I take a shower? I thought. A few scenarios went through my mind. I could get Mom to help me wash. No, the combination of my naked, soapy self slipping out of her grasp painted an awkward picture for me. Lasso myself to the faucet? How would I even get a rope? Too much hassle. I sighed. I might have to skip it today.
Okay, now for the big question. How would this affect my social status at school? Another burning question: Without a ceiling would I float away? That would definitely affect my soccer performance.
After awakening fully I swam through the air to my dresser by pushing off the walls. My blanket slipped back down to the floor. At least it had gravity.
Thankfully my wardrobe reached up to the ceiling. I pulled out some clothes from the top drawer and tried to disentangle myself from my pajamas. After wrestling them off, I unsuccessfully tried to put on my clothes. After a few minutes and some new pants (my jeans fell. Thanks gravity.) I was finally fully clothed.
I checked my watch. 7:09. Mom and Dad should be up by now. Sure enough, I heard the telltale signs of morning stumbling and running water. Soon my state of anti-gravity would be revealed.
The problem with weightlessness is that you get bored easily. My computer, books, and iPod were all unreachable. Why hadn’t I had the forethought to put them on high shelves? I’d just have to weight it out.
Suddenly, Mom walked in, as is her usual wake-up-or-you’ll-be-late-for-school routine. I couldn’t tell what her reaction would be. She looked around a moment, confused. After yelling my name a few times she gave up and went back into her bedroom. I decided to explain to her later, so I wouldn’t scare her.
I floated back to the dresser and pulled myself down. This took more effort then I’d expected, and I bobbed back up. I managed to anchor myself to the ground by grabbing hold of the sides of the wardrobe. I figured out that if I slid my legs under the dresser I could maintain an almost sitting position near the floor.
“MOOOOMM!” I yelled, which usually receives a lecture but is quite effective.
She ran in.
“There you are! I was looking all over! Do you have any idea what time it is?” She asked, beginning her lecture.
Before she could get much farther I interrupted.
“Mom. Mom, please don’t freak out. I’ve lost gravity.” I winced, waiting for a faint or an angry response.
“Excuse me, what?” she asked looking bewildered.
“I don’t stay on Earth.” She still looked confused.
“I woke up on the ceiling,” I said, beating around the bush, “I float.”
Finally, she got it.
“ Oh, my god,” she breathed, “I don’t believe it.”
Sighing again, I let go with my feet and drifted to the ceiling. The look on her face would have had me in hysterics in any other circumstance, but now I was completely serious. Then, her face lit up, and with a knowing “Righto!” she zipped out of my room and down the hall.
She was back quickly with a metal instrument that looked a bit like a medieval torture device. Grabbing my foot, she pulled me down to about her level. Then she deftly pricked my finger, and with a surprised whoosh I plopped back down to the floor.
“Hormones,” she said, “Just the same as when I was a kid,” she smiled and patted me on the head, “Don’t forget to feed the cat.”