Harmful Acids [Bart]Mature

                                             Dinner was awakward, to say the least. In fact, Bart would have described it as being as painful as pouring acid onto your face. As he chewed his potatoes, he played with the idea of acid, and wondered whose face he could pour it on. He was sure Lisa would know where he could find some acid. He'd ask her later.

                                            "So, Nelson," said Homer Simpson from the top of the table. "How's the uh... family?"

                                            Bart cringed and look at Nelson. He looked surprised; he said nothing.

                                           "Dad," Lisa hissed across the table, and Bart could see every little bit of her embarrassment. "Nelson's not in touch with any of his family. His mom and dad ran away to become circus performers when he was eighteen, remember?"

                                           "Oh, yeah!" Homer laughed out loud and leaned over to elbow his son-in-law humorously. "Funny how something like that so easily slips your mind, huh, Nelson?"

                                           "Dad, you still haven't told Lisa and Nelson about how the vending machine at work gave you double-credits today!" Bart interjected.

                                            Homer's face lit up. "Lisa! Nelson! Wait until you hear this story!"

                                           Lisa shot Bart a look of gratitude, before turning back to Homer and feigning interest.

                                          Once Homer's story was over, silence fell over the table. Everybody chewed slowly and glanced at each other. Bart noticed Maggie had headphones on.

                                          "Nelson, how's the mechanic job going?" Marge asked brightly.


                                         Everybody looked at Nelson and waited for him to continue; but the only thing he continued was the eating of his beef.

                                          "How much do you make?" Homer wanted to know.

                                          "DAD!" said Lisa; "Homer!" snapped Marge.

                                         "What? I just wanna know whether or not he's doing better than I did at his age. Though he's already got two kids come from his loins." He glared at Bart. "You couldn't have been twins, could you?" he muttered bitterly.

                                          Awkward silence again. Everybody's face was red now, except for Homer's, and of course, Maggie, who was oblivious to all of the conversation.

                                         Bart cleared his throat. "Lisa?"

                                         Lisa put on a tight smile. "Yes, Bart?"

                                         "Where might I get my hands on some harmful acids?"

The End

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