If Nelson had to pick one word for how he felt when he woke up, he wouldn't have been able to. His brain was like scrambled eggs. He must have lay on his back for almost ten minutes, staringat the blue cloudless sky above him, before he realized he had no idea where he was.
He sat up dizzily, holding onto his head. Leaves surrounded him on all sides, and under him was soil. He was in a shrub! How had that happened?
There was a house nearby. He was in somebody's garden. Geez, how embarrassing. Hopefully nobody was up yet and they wouldn't see him.
There was a second person slumped in his shrubs a few metres away. Long brown hair streamed down the person's back; he or she was face-down.
Nelson grabbed their shoulders and flipped them over, realizing it was Dolph. He was asleep, or unconscious. Nelson sighed and paced a little away, taking out his phone and checking the time. It was half past one in the afternoon! He was already late to go to the Simpsons' house with Lisa.
"Dolph!" Nelson hissed, punching his friend lightly in the chest, but enough to get him to wake up.
Dolph jolted awake. "I swear, Officer! It wasn't me! It was Muntz!" he cried.
"Geez, thanks," muttered Nelson. "Get up, would you? We have to get out of here."
"Ah. Chill out, man. There's no fire."
"There'll be one in that bush under your ass if you're not out of it in five seconds!" snapped Nelson.
Dolph heaved himself up, swaying and holding his head. "I gotta do something with my life, Nelson."
"You sure do. You can start with a god-damned haircut."
"Christ. Low blow, first thing in the morning."
"I can't remember a thing, man! Not a fucking thing! Where the hell are we?" Nelson demanded.
"Dude! I'm as hungover as you! I told you to chill, didn't I? We just need to chill. It'll be fine."
"Fine?!" Nelson yelled. "Dolph, I promised Lisa I'd go to her folks' place with her today! I can't do that if I've no idea where the fuck I am!"
"Nelson -" Dolph glanced around and tried to interject.
"Shut up, Dolph! You said last night that I've changed, well, I don't care, okay?"
"Uh, hey, Muntz -"
"This sort of thing only ever ends in people getting hurt, and I really think it's time we both -"
"Muntz! What's the Simpsons' address?"
Nelson froze. Oops. He didn't know it off the top of his head.
"Evergreen Terrace, right?"
"Yes!" said Nelson. "That's it."
Dolph grinned and jerked his head towards the house of the garden we'd passed out in. Now that his head had cleared, Nelson remembered the many childish nights spent TPing this house and tauntin old man -
"- Flanders," said Nelson. He glanced over the shrubs into next-doors's driveway. Next to the ancient pink Sudan, Nelson and Lisa's small white Nissan was parked in the driveway of 742 Evergreen Terrace.
Nelson laughed. "Dolph, man," he grinned, slapping his friend on the back, "Told you everything would be fine if we chill out."
The sad part? Dolph was fully convinced that Nelson had been the one to say that.