Henry's Diary: 8th June 2008

Sunday 8th June

I think I managed forty winks just before Mum came in with a cup of tea at 9 o'clock.  She said she'd left me to sleep a bit longer because she'd heard me up and about earlier and knew I'd had a restless night.  She also said I looked dreadful and she wished she'd left me a little longer.

To be honest, though,  I'm glad she woke me because I knew this morning exactly what I needed to do.  I must have been mad to think I should just sit around Mum's house and wait for Clare to call.  I have to go to her.  

  Just after Mum woke me I tried Sophie's number but it was engaged, and after that it just rang and rang. That doesn't matter, though.  I'm sure Sophie would have talked me out of going  But,  I should have gone last night.  What sort of husband am I, anyway?  I know now that I was just being an ostrich. So, here I am, sitting on the train.  Mum said she'll ring me on my mobile if there is any news from Clare.

I still can't think of a single reason why Clare would leave so suddenly, without an explanation, unless she was in some kind of distress.  To go like that, without even a call, is completely out of character.  Have I done something, unwittingly, that has hurt my Clare-Bear?  I really thought we were close enough, and so in tune with one another, that I would have known if she were unhappy.  I should have known. I wonder if this would have happened if we were still in Cloudcroft. 

We were blissfully happy there;  would have been content to stay forever.  But when the company folded, there was no job for me anymore, at least not anywhere we wanted to live.  I remember our first night in our new home; our cabin, nestled in the Sacramento Mountains.  We were sitting out on the back deck, and wondering at the beauty of our surroundings - the aspen grove and the towering pines, and looking up at the star-studded sky, full of joy at our togetherness.  When I looked at Clare with her gorgeous blue-green eyes reflecting the stars, I swear my heart beat almost as fast as the wings of the hummingbird that landed on our feeder earlier in the day, and I felt dizzy.  Even then, I know I was fearful that I would lose her, one day; that she would fly away, just as the bird did when we tried to go too close.

Only two stations till my stop.  I'm scared.  But I have to do this.


The End

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