The accident was over in a split second, I barely remember anything, but suddenly everything had changed- I was no longer a living breathing human, I was dead. Looking down on the despair, looking down on the hell that my untimely departure had created.

Dozens of people stood around my coffin as my funeral progressed, India standing- the tears streaming down her face as she clung onto the hands of her grandmother- it was her I was most concerned about. I was heartbroken as I went through all those milestones that a mother should be there for. She dropped a single white lilly onto my coffin as I lay in my final resting place, the confusion on her face evident as she failed to fully comprehend the enormity and finality of death, looking up to the face of grandmother for some help, for some reassurance.

But my mother, she just shook- barely able to talk, her face ashen- shocked at the horrific reality- she was having to bury her own daughter... Something which goes against the natural laws of life- her heart breaking as my body was being covered with a layer of dust.

I longed to be able to visit them all, to numb some of the pain, to help them through this but helpless, I could only watch. Watch as my family attempted to carry on their life without me.

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