I'm always changing my mind, I have never sticked to one decision and it's only when I actually think about it, after having done it that I realise that it was a bit of stupid thing to do, so this is a bunch of stories about all the times that I realised that I had done the wrong thing.
I looked over at where Jake was standing in line, waiting to get our food, the one bad thing about JFK, the queues! When he saw me he grimaced and rolled his eyes at the queue, I nodded, although I didn't really see him.
We had had the same thing over and over again, my best friend, who had started dating a couple of months after me, is further along in the relationhsip with her nerdy, skinny, weird but adorable boyfriend than I was with my sporty, energetic, witty and crazy boyfriend. Either there was something wrong with me or this relationship was just two people who were so desperate that they both went with the first person who asked.
Don't get me wrong, we were having such a great time, but that was it, we were more friends than a couple and I wanted to be in a real couple, no matter how long it took, it would happen, and I would be happy!
"Here is the burger for the strange girl who said that we souldn't go to Burger King but still orders a burger from JFK!" he said, sitting opposite me (Lucas always sat next to Mia so he could put his arm around her) I bit my lip, it did cause me pain to hurt him, I would miss the butterflies in my tommy when we kissed, but it was the way it should be!
"So, are you finally going to tell me what has been bugging you all day?" he said, leaning his head to one side. I had figured that he would be able to know that something was wrong. I started it slowly, I could do this, I had seen loads of people do it, on TV, but whats the difference?
"It's just, I feel as if, we have no fire!" I said, not quite what I had meant to say, but, oh well. He stared at me, the piece of popcorn chicken on his fork frozen in mid-air, I stared at it, I couldn't bare to look at the confusion in his eyes.
The chicken slowly lowered as he finally said "alright, I, umm, don't know quite what to say to that! I thought that we were dong well, I mean we get on so well!" "Exactely!" I said "We get on so well, but that is it, aren't people supposed to have chemistry?" I asked, it was my first proper relationship so I couldn't be sure "Well, I thought that that was what we had, I mean with Jade, I felt nothing for her, but with you..." He left the sentence hanging, I smiled "how about this, we still do what we were planning on doing but just as friends, and we keep meating up as friends and then, when we realise that we actually don't feel the need to kiss each other, we will be able to be best friends again!" I said, smiling chearfully at him.
"Alright" he said again, but with less hurt, and a slight sound of sarcasm, but I ignored it, this is what he did when he was trying to prove to me that my theory wouldn't work, but I knew it would, I had never been wrong when it came to the two of us before, I was determined to keep it that way, I could never live with myself if he was right over me about something to do with us!
I got home later that night, we had had fun, just as friends, I knew it.
I flopped onto my bed and rolled over, looking at my wall, which was covered in pictures and there in the middle of the mash of friend and family pictures was Jake and I. It was after our very first date, he was saking wet, because he had fallen of the boat that we had rented when he was trying to reach my hat, which had flown of my head and into the water, he had gotten back onto the boat, realised he had forgotten the hat and jumped right back off to get it for me, when he had gotten back on he placed the soaking wet hat on my head and said "If I am going to die of pneumonia then I am taking you to heaven with me!"
I smiled and rolled over onto my other side to see a picture of the two of us kissing, stuck to my mirror, we were standing on the small strip of sand by the river, which he had declared as our beach, and pronounced me the queen of, and then made me a mini sand castle and carved my initials on it's "roof". A couple of swans had seen the food that we had been eating for our picnick wasn't finished so they had come towards it, Jake, being the idiot that he is, ran towards them, flapping his hands, they then ran towards us and he had pulled me behind him saying "don't worry, I will not allow these creatures to invade our beach and destroy our caslte!" They had bitten the top of his finger, but had eventually left us, it had begun to bleed so I had kissed it better, and he had lifted my chin to his face, and kissed me.
Suddenly my phone vibrated showing me that I had a text from him, but I didn't look at it, I only stared at the wallpaper on the lock screen, it was a picture of the two of us dressed up very fancy, he had gotten us a reservation at a very posh restaurant, after having saved up enough money from tips at the local pub. It was my birthday, I had been surprised at him, we were only friends I had thought, but that night he had told me that he loved me, it had taken me by surprise, but I was thrilled.
"Just two people who would have said yes to the first person who asked" I whispered to myself, maybe I could live with mysel if he was right, just this once.
I smiled and opened the text "hey, I waz thinkng bout what u said at lunch and I realised u had a point, we had no chemistry, I realize that now, and if it's alright wiv u I'd rather not do the whole meating up with each other to prove ur point!! I gotta meet up with ma mates, c ya around! J"