In the last three days, I have talked with a vampire that isn't Alex far more than I thought I would, bought a car, and raced said vampire back to London. A 2007 Honda Civic against a vampire. Guess who won.
I figured that Alex didn't need me there, and it wasn't fair on either of us to have me moping about in Wales, being a useless lump. So I guess it's back to working two jobs and looking for a boyfriend for me.
"He wasn't your boyfriend, was he?" Eliza said on the second day. I looked up in surprise from where I was sat on the bed, waiting for the sun to set. Don't ask me why I didn't get away from her as soon as I could. I don't know. I guess I just appreciated company that wasn't focussed on tracking down and killing someone that they'd spent most of the time you knew them trying to find.
"What makes you say that?"
"If he was your lover, you wouldn't give up so easily." I hugged my knees a bit tighter and scowled at the dull red bed sheets.
"No," I sighed, "but I wish he was." I closed my eyes. "I guess he thought lying about it might protect me, somehow."
"Well he did look like he would quite happily do whatever he could to protect you," she mumbled, sitting on the edge of my bed. I opened my eyes again and she gave me this smile that said she knows how I felt.
"You sound like you know exactly how it feels," I muttered, and she nodded, "not with that guy you were with before?" I asked incredulously. She laughed.
"No! he was just a good friend that decided travelling was not for him." I nodded and left it there, looking out of the window at the sun sinking over the horizon.
"Do I get a head start?" I queried with a small smile. I did, surprisingly. Not that focussing on the race worked. It didn't keep my mind from churning with the guilt at leaving Alex in Wales alone, or the irrational fear at being on my own. Alex has been around since my mid-teens; getting used to life without him will be strange.
And now? Right now, I'm lying on my sofa, half watching TV, half sleeping.
I'm by myself again - Eliza thanked me for my company and the race when I met her in London and said if she passed through here again, she would try to remember to say hi. But she doesn't ‘do' sticking around, apparently.
Plan for tomorrow? Apologise to both of my bosses profusely, work overtime, then go on the pull at a club somewhere.