I don't know what happened.
One minute, I was sitting in the road, feeling sorry for myself, hungry and like a total idiot.
The next, my knife is in my hand, and I'm stood beside a black car and a crumpled body. The body in question has the build of a bouncer, or perhaps a body builder that had let himself go a little. The headlights of the car illuminate the whole scene in a harsh bright light, reflecting off the blood on my knife and hands. I look down at my hands dumbly, turning them in the light, watching as the blood sparkles invitingly. And then I look down at the body.
There's next to no blood on the body.
I might not know what happened, but I know that I'm a) getting the fuck out of here and b) not hungry anymore. C'mon, brain, it's not hard to figure out what happened.
Mickey had stumbled across me, and thought he was in luck, that I was practically begging for someone to find me there. He must have gotten out of his car, to kill me, or whatever it is he does to vampires. And I, in my hungered, self loathing state had snapped. And the rest, as they say, is history.
The thing that's bugging me is... well, I don't feel anything. Apart from the mild confusion I felt when I realised I was standing over a body, specifically Mickey's body. But that's it. No remorse, none of that ill feeling I got before when I ... fed. Nothing.
I just wipe the blood off my knife as I walk, sheathe the knife, lick the blood left on my hands off and keep going. Part of my mind is beginning to try and rationalise what I did and why I feel nothing for it; he had it coming, he's a bastard. You're protecting yourself and doing the whole world a favour. On and on in the back of my head til I begin to think sitting in the middle of the road slowly becoming a self pitying wreck was a far better option.
"Shut up!" I scream at nothing in particular, and at the same time, everything. "Just fucking shut up already!" A guttural growl rumbles in the back of my throat as my fists clench, the urge to hit something building up with nothing to hit.