I know. I say we should move and then I just flop onto the road like a big sack of uselessness. Which, in effect, I am.
I had this sudden epiphany between saying "let's go" and Maxxie pulling me out of the car. Which, in case you're interested, went something along the lines of: ‘There is no point to this. Why do I even care?' Because there isn't a point. I've wasted nearly ten years of my life chasing after someone I'm clearly never going to catch. They got what they want; they already won, I don't even need to kill myself for them to have won.
Of course, I don't really expect to live, either, considering that I now have hunters looking for me.
Maxxie smacks me around the face, but I barely notice and venomous words come out of my mouth without me thinking them.
"Please, Alex." His whispered plea makes me look at him properly - not the blurry, cross eyed way of looking at him which is what I had before.
"Please what?" I ask tiredly, my tone of voice snapping back to normal. Well, kinda normal.
"Don't give up. You can't just give up."
"Why? They already won. I don't need to kill myself for them to win. I may as well hand myself over to the hunters. Or better yet, I could hunt myself. What d'you think, hmm? Maybe I could keep chasing myself for years to come just like Jesse has to me."
"Or you could just live," he mumbles, letting go of my arms, "you could just try and find some kind of way of getting by like you did before."
"Yeah but last time I was a human," I mumble and he slaps me again. Y'know those proper bitch slaps you get off women when you really piss them off? Put Maxxie's face to one of those and... you get the picture. It hurt a fair bit, even now I'm a... hmm.
"You made do!" he says angrily, "so make do again!" I growl slightly and push him off.
"Just leave me alone!" I yell at him and yes, I sound like an adolescent shouting at his parents.
No, I don't really care.
I get up and start to walk away.
"Hey!" Maxxie calls after me. "Hey, you can't just leave me here on the motorway with a broken car!"
"Call AA, then." I reply, still walking.
"Oh for-!" he runs after me, his footsteps crunching on the ground, almost like there's gravel - which there isn't - and leaps at me. I want to duck and make him miss me, but something keeps me upright, bracing myself for the one hundred and sixty eight pounds of Aryan flinging himself at my back.
And sure enough, he thumps into me, his knees clamping down on my sides, his arms around my neck. I let out a quiet "oof" and hold him there, shifting him slightly. Why? Why can't I just leave him here?
"I've told you before, Alex," he says, putting his head on my shoulder so his green eyes are looking sideways into mine, "you're not gonna get rid of me so easily. Stop being such a pussy and just get on with the running, yeah?"
Have I ever said I love Maxxie...?