I feel like a shitty person.
I threatened Joey with my knife and quite possibly hurt Aidan. Or killed him. Those shelves are pretty heavy.
So, overall, that's a bad day with a sprinkling of guilt, thanks.
On the up side, I didn't decide to snack on them. I'm feeling pretty hungry. I'm guessing being out in the sun is what caused that one.
I can't bring myself to... feed on anyone, though. Instead, I skitter away from the industrial estate, keeping to the shadows as best I can.
This is ridiculous; why can't life just be easy for once? Just when I thought things were looking up for once, everything was torn away again.
As I run, I try to shake the feeling of general shitness. It's actually weighing me down. I feel sick, and I'm pretty sure it's not the hunger. Despite knowing how stupid I'm being, and the note I left, I end up heading back for Maxxie's place.
As weak as it sounds, I've suddenly discovered I can't do this alone, and it's not like I can go to Angelina or the guys at work, is it?
I run up the five flights of stairs and skid to a halt outside of his door, knocking on it frantically. Déjà vu much? At least this time I'm not half naked and wearing jeans with a huge hole near the crotch, I s'pose.
"One minute," Maxxie calls from inside, his voice tired and, if I'm not mistaken, depressed.
"I don't really have a minute, dude!" I shout, banging on the door again. I hear a crash from inside as he thuds up to the door, throwing it open to reveal an avalanche of junk behind him in his hallway, and himself, slumped with a cigarette between his lips. He takes it out of his mouth as his jaw slackens, before leaping at me in a hug. I don't wait for him to let go of me; I just walk inside and close the door behind me, practically carrying him back inside.
"Thought you'd gone!" he cries as I attempt to dislodge him at the same time as holding my breath. Just a bit too close to a hungry vampire, mate. He doesn't care, apparently, refusing to let go.
"Yeah, me too," I mutter, grimacing as he kisses my cheek and finally lets go. He turns and stacks up the boxes and whatever else fell on the floor back against the wall so we can go sit down in the living room.
"Why'd you come back?" he asks, flopping on the sofa. I move to sit on the arm chair opposite, but he grabs my hoodie, tugging me down beside him. He catches me mid-step and pulls me off balance, grinning as I fall into the old leather beside him.
"I dunno. I'm beginning to regret it," I grumble, lying through my teeth. It's nice to know there's still someone you can depend on to want you around. And knowing there's someone that's more than willing to hug you when you're feeling like crap.
"Of course you are," he pats my head, putting his cigarette back between his lips, smiling slightly, despite knowing that I came back because I can't handle it all at the moment. "But we both know you wanted a shoulder to cry on," he mocks, patting his shoulder, offering it to me. I shake my head and decline the offer, making him pout.
"I'm kinda hungry... might be a bad idea," I mumble, looking away and he makes an ‘O' with his lips, understanding. "I'm not looking forward to the summer," I laugh weakly, looking out at the sky through the window as the sun begins to sink below the horizon.
"You'll be fine. We'll fix you up with a nice dank cellar and a coffin. I'll decorate it for you," he laughed too, just as feebly. He leans forward and screws his cigarette into the ashtray.
"No, thanks," I smile, glancing back at him. "Last time you wanted to decorate, you wanted to paint the kitchen hot pink." It had been a joke that had gone as far as buying one of those little tester pots and painting ‘Maxxie 4 Alex' and pink love hearts on the door.
"You should have seen your face," he grinned.
"I did," I point out, "you put the pictures of my reaction all over facebook." He nods and pouts again.
"And then you painted over it. Shocking," he acts all disappointed, but he can't hide the smile.
If there's one thing I love about Maxxie, it's that he knows how to distract me from my own thoughts.