I won't cry. Not now, not when they kill Alex. Not ever.
Boss expects us to find it hard to kill him. Even though now he's one of them and none of his personality or humanity remains, he still expects us to find it hard. Which is why a few of us have been put into a team, to support each other. Usually we work alone or in pairs. But this time it's a team of four.
Aidan, Connor, Mickey, and me.
"He's already dead, Joey," boss says to me as I walk towards the door. I don't want to be a part of this team. I don't want to have to kill my friend.
"I know that, but it won't make it any easier," I somehow manage to keep my voice from cracking as I speak.
"If he displays any kind of human characteristics when you find him, remember that it is not Alex. There's nothing left but his body, now," he tells me firmly and I nod, staying quiet and just waiting to be dismissed. I'm not usually this quiet, not even with boss, but the meeting upset me. Talking about Alex like he was never human to begin with was painful, and the cold planning that's going into tracking him down and ‘removing the threat he poses' feels weird. I'm so used to this kind of thing, but I'd never even considered I might have to do it for someone I know knew before.
Boss tells me to get back to the paper work and leaves. I follow him out into the office a moment later and sit back at my desk. Only I can't concentrate now.
Nice one, boss. Now, not only am I all upset about Alex, I won't get this paper work done.
I lean back in my chair and stare blankly at the screen, trying to persuade myself that when we find him, he'll be nothing like the guy I was planning a trip up north with just last week, he'll be just like boss says - a body with a thirst for blood.
Only I can't help but wonder.
I shake my head, trying to dislodge the disturbing thoughts. Vampires have no personality, or morals. Alex will be no exception.