Urine for a Treat

This was inspired by a most disgusting event of my own. I found a toilet seat defiled and, in my revolt, sent massively bitter/aggressive texts to people dictating how I might track down the ne're-do-well and murder them...

Which turned into the script for a movie! This is a work in progress, so please remember that I've got lots of editing to do and a a whole nother part to add. So... Urine for a treat with this

Daniel Barker

Urine for a Treat/Urine for a Good Time

 

Style Notes:

 

/---/ are verbose descriptions of events.

Man: Main Character/Serial Killer

Captive: Later named “Dodd Anderson” but will be called Captive throughout

Entire movie takes place in the Basement, even during parts where Man leaves to get things from elsewhere in the house.

~~> whispers

~~> mutters

~~> /stresses-this-or-these-words/

 

 

/fade into a dimly lit room. Captive is tied to a chair in the middle of the room. He slowly starts to wake up, groggy and a little blood stain on his forehead. Duct tape covers his mouth, his arms solidly grappled to the chair. As he awakes, he frightfully looks around to figure out where he is. He tries to call for help under the tape, but to no avail./

 

Man

“Good morning, Mr. Anderson.”

 

/Man strolls into the room from the shadows./

 

Man

“It's a pleasure to finally meet you.”

 

Captive

“mmphmm! Mph mmm mm ph hmphm!”

(who are you? what am I doing here?)

 

Man

“Sir... there is duct tape over your mouth..”

 

Captive

“mmphmm!”

(I know!)

 

 

/the man walks over to te chair. He gets really close to Captive's face./

 

Man

I know what you did last week.”

 

/Man backs away with a gleeful look in his eyes. Captive looks confused./

 

Captive

“mmm”

(what?)

 

 

 

1

 

Man

“Oh yes. Your confused look tells me you know exactly what you did.

DON'T PLAY COY WITH ME. We are not fish.”

 

/Man chuckles to himself/

 

Man

Though... it would help if you had gills for this...”

 

Captive

“MM! MMP MAMPH MPH!”

(No! You got the wrong guy!)

 

Man

“Really? DID I get the wrong guy?”

 

/Captive tries to plead with his eyes./

 

Man

No! It's THAT look of guilt that tells me you deserve this!

 

/captive looks sad/cries. He is starting to visibly resign to his fate./

 

Man

Yes. You, sir, committed a most heinous crime. What you did was one of

the most vile, disgusting, horrible acts a man could do. With what

you've done you're no better than a dog... No...

 

/Captive looks really really sad/

 

Man

No better than a new born puppy.

 

/Captive slowly looks up at Man with a confused expression./

 

Man

Yea... starting to remember more huh?

It's all coming back to you now, isn't it?

Tell me how sorry you are!

 

/Man rips off the mouth duct tape/

 

Man

There! Beg for forgiveness!

 

 

2

 

Captive

What's going on?

 

/Man is very confused/

 

Man

I'm... er... punishing you for your wicked ways?

 

Captive

But I didn't do anything...

 

/Man looks very very confused, an awkward silence descends for a few minutes. He looks around as though searching for answers./

 

Man

but.... I just... and the thing...

I've got to check something.

 

/reduct tapes mouth/

 

Man

Wait right here, I'll be right back.

 

/Man awkwardly walks to the shadow/door and trips on something in the dark./

 

Man

Stupid dark basement.

 

/Man turns on the light and enters adjoining room. Man rummages through the papers on the desk./

 

Man

I swear if this is the wrong guy again...

 

/Man returns, turning off the lights as he enters with a small photo. He drops the photo and rips the duct tape off of Captive's face./

 

Man

What's your name!?

 

Captive

Dodd.

 

/Man stops and thinks for a second./

 

Man

Yea, Dodd Anderson. You're the right guy.... at least you look like him.

 

3

 

/Captive looks extremely confused still./

 

Man

Yes. You, sir, shall get a taste of your own medicine.

 

/Man chuckles again/

 

Captive

But I still don't know what you think I did!?

 

Man

Oh... Oh no...

 

/Man begins getting very angry/

 

Man

You are telling me that you so callously committed that abominable act and then went along as if it were nothing?

 

Captive

Look! I'm sure I'm sorry for what ever it is I did! But please, you don't need to-

 

Man

Yes? What? Exact punishment for something that was so horrible yet clearly means nothing to you?

Sir, you are Sadly Mistaken. You must feel the shower of absolution. Must feel the penance of your wicked ways.

You must understand what horrors you have put others through due to your lack of digression.

You, Dodd, will taste the fury and reap that which you sow.

Dodd, prepare to drink Pee.

 

Captive

Wait, what?!

 

/Man walks to Dodd and lowers the toilet sear around his neck./

 

Man

Yes sir! Justice served golden.

I feel it's perfect for your transgressions.

 

Captive

Just what did I do? Why are you doing this?

 

/Man continues getting prepared. He puts gloves, a jacket and boots on while talking./

 

 

 

 

4

 

Man

Well, you see. Last Wednesday, you are I were eating lunch at Palo Halo.

I can only assume you were there for lunch as /it/ was still fresh.

At roughly one forty-five 'p' 'm' that day, I went to the restroom.

Now, I've got a medical condition that requires me to frequently make

stop to the bathroom. /Especially/ after a meal. It is almost always a terrible and

disgusting time, but it is one that I must experience everyday. When I got to the restroom,

one stall was occupied and one was available. Nevermind, that there were perfectly available urinals there. No... you CLEARLY needed that porcelain bowl. I went into that stall.

I closed the door and there ON THE SEAT was your final products. Four perfectly

shaped globules of urine and a single pubic hair.

 

/shakes with disgust and frustration/

 

Man

Nothing. NOTHING is more disgusting and rude then such obvious

displays of void-morality.

 

Captive

I don't understand!

I sat down!!!

 

Man

Then when shaking off you must have

shot the stragglers. It doesn't matter.

This was enough evidence to figure out who you were.

 

Captive

You... you... you were the guy who messed his pants!

 

Man

YES! It was me! I had to clean up after an ADULT and their

incontinence before I could even think about committing my deed.

It was a terrible day... because of you.

 

/at 'you' he points at the Captive./

 

 

Man

Now. [] Prepare to taste vengance!

 

/at [] he picks up the spritz bottle. He goes to spray but is cut off./

 

Captive

But how did you figure out who I was?

5

 

Man

I've got my sources.

 

/Man sprays once/

 

Man

You like that? Yea? Seem familiar?

 

Captive

Ew, god, what is that?

 

Man

Urine, or should I say, “your-in”.

I've given you a lot of water to drink and collected

samples for a day.

 

Captive

Thats disgusting

 

Man

SO'S POOPING IN YOUR PANTS

 

The End

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