Everyone is so depressed. Then again who would blame them, this is a wake. He would have hated it. It's so sad and gloomy. I hate this, wearing black, it doesn't suit me. He would have laughed if he saw me in this stuff.... then again i wouldn't be wearing black if he were here. It's pouring rain outside, almost as if even mother nature knows he is gone. He used to love nature. He would talk about the trees and plants as though they were real people. I can't do this, I'm not gonna make it through the whole day without crying. He hated crying, most of all he hated me crying. It was worst when he caused it. I promised him, If anything ever happend to him, I wouldn't do this, cry at his funeral. Then again I'm not at his funeral. I just wish that all this was a dream and that i could just wake up!