Chapter 4 ● POINT OF VIEW • Jace
Just my luck, I woke up back in the same bed I had just tried to leave. This time my body ached so much more. My side throbbed in pain and my face burned. I looked around the room and took in my environment I had allowed my soul to pull from my body just as the Jinn plunged the dagger through my heart. I wouldn't have admitted it to anyone but I was afraid of the pain. In my ghosting form I could see what happened but I would be just a tiny bit detached from the sensations. I had escaped my body just in time to find myself staring in horror as the baby killer sunk through my flesh and buried itself inside of my heart.
Even in my ghosting form I should have felt some of the pain. It should have caused me to snap immediately back into my body. I was surprised when I felt serene and happy instead of pain and sorrow. I was even more surprised that I was able to continue ghosting.
The Jinn however seemed to be suffering much more than I was. Pain was etched clearly in every movement of her body. I watched the Jinn drop to the ground sobbing in anguish and frustration. I could hear her words and I knew he was lamenting the loss of the other half of her soul. He cried and bellowed at the injustice of being mated to an Unseelie court.
It was clear that he had been unprepared for the consequences of killing a soul mate. My mother had killed her true mate and I had been well versed in what to expect. Mom made no bones about how emotionally painful the experience would be. She once said we don't call it soul shattering for nothing. Imagine the most pain you think you could suffer than triple it. Your soul was never meant to be without its other half. By destroying that chance you will destroy the best part of you.
I watched my Jinn wipe her face with the back of her hand then he reached out and moved my hair gently away from my face and allowed her lips to brush against my forehead. His weeping filled my soul with such sadness and a longing to ease her suffering. I watched as he partially shifted and used her fire breath to melt the sacrificial dagger into nothing more than a mass of useless metal. He continued to touch and caress what I was sure was my dead or dying body. All the while sobbing and whimpering in mourning for what could have been between us.
His pain was so genuine and sincere that I found myself moving towards him with no intention but to comfort and soothe her pain. I knew in my ghosting form that he would be unable to see, hear or feel me but my own sadness at my death and her inevitable grief at my loss forced me into wrapping myself around her large tormented body. The moment I made contact with her body my soul shouted with pleasure and all thoughts of pain and sorrow were immediately blocked.
I felt our souls blend together on a cellular level. I had never really understood until that moment what it meant to have half a soul. Unlike some of the elders I’d been born that way. It’s impossible to miss that which you’ve never had. But at that moment, with her soul twisted and melded with mine I knew. I knew with utter conclusiveness that my soul and this Jinn belonged together. If only I could live, I am sure I would fall completely and unconditionally in love with him.
I was murmuring of wanting to have a second chance at love and life while I was allowing my soul to mix and dance with her. Every place our souls touched tiny little pulses of pleasure would blossom and bloom. I imagined pure joy and blissful satisfaction was radiating from the both of us. I was lost in the pleasure and for just a moment I had forgotten that my body lay dying not far from me. Without my permission I felt it tugging and pulling at my spirit to return to my remains.
I wanted to rail against the injustice of bringing me so close to paradise and yanking it away before I ever had a chance to enjoy it. My life had been nothing but pain and sorrow before finding this one moment of pure ecstasy and harmony. I hated that my body was dying and that in just a few more seconds my spirit would fade from this place to the next. I reached out with my hand with the intention of sliding it along her perfectly sculpted face as a way of saying good bye. I knew I wouldn't be able to feel her skin against mine that wasn't really even the purpose.
When a Slough ghosts we basically separate our soul from our body. We use the skill as way of seeing and being somewhere we really aren’t. You are not a corporeal being just an essence of sorts. You can't be seen or heard. You can’t touch or feel anything, so when the Jinn suddenly jerked around and grabbed my arms I was beyond shocked. He stuttered and tried to speak while he looked questioning into my eyes.
I wanted to speak back and give him an explanation. I wanted to at least get to say goodbye but at that exact moment I felt my soul snap back into my dying body. Pain was emanating in sharp horrific bursts from my side and my chest. My lungs were desperately struggling to pull air into them. I was making sharp wheezing sounds and my heart was slowing to a stop. Something or someone touch my chest and the pain increased tenfold. I heard myself moan in pain and my world went black.
I would love to get some feedback on this. If you are reading, please comment. Thanks so much.