Jason has a dream that changes his grip on reality. Growing up his parents tried to teach him right from wrong. And after a dream he has he feels that he is exactly what his mother describes as "wrong." On top of that he knows that if he tells someone he will never fit in. As Jason comes to terms with himself, his disire becomes stronger. A desire that he knows is completely unobtainable.
" i can't believe i agreed to come to this party" i said to myself as i walked in the door.
My first impression was that it was way to out of control. And second i couldn't hear a thing over the music. Every one here is a band kid so i pretty much knew them all. I looked around and noticed the beer and intently knew that i shouldn't be here. Being only 15 i didn't have a drivers license so i couldn't leave. So i decided to go sit in the corner until the party was over.
After about an hour of sitting in the corner i noticed Evan walking up to me.
" hey Jason can i talk to you " he screamed over the music.
" yeah sure "
" we should go out side unless you want to sit here and try to scream over the music "
I nodded and followed him through the crowd of people. As i followed him i couldn't help but wonder why a senior wanted to talk to me.
Once we got outside we went and sat next to the pool.
" having fun in that corner?" He asked
" not as much my wasted friends "
He smiled and said " sorry the beer wasn't my idea. "
" sure "
" I'm not as stupid as you think "
" i never said you were "
He smiled again but this time i noticed that it was a different smile. A smile that i like more than his " class clown " smile. This smile seemed more natural and i wanted more of it.
" so... what did you want to talk about "
He Looked away. " i... i "
I could tell that he was having trouble getting his words together. " are you sure this is something that you want to talk to me about"
" sure, no not sure but i need to " he looked away again. " Jason i.. i " he started to laugh nervously " i think I'm gay " he looked into the water and started fidgeting with his hands.
I looked at him my mouth wide open. I never saw that coming. I have been gay for awhile and could normally tell when someone else was.
It took me awhile to gather up my thoughts. I turned to him and said " i can see why you came to me. Can i ask you a question "
" yeah "
" why do you think you are gay?"
" because lately i keep noticing guys in a way i never have and i ... i like it. Jason how am i supposed to know ... I'm so confused.
" well there isn't a way for you just know that you are. It took me a long time to figure it out. "
His eyes looked into mine pleading for answers. He started to break down in front of me.
" Evan i know that its hard but trust me you will figure it out. And when you do you will feel so much better. "
" but how do you figure it out "
" trust me something will happen and you will know. You will have strong feelings for someone or you might kiss a guy and like it. Or you might ..." Evan cut me off by leaning forward quickly and pressed his lips against mine.
Butterfly's went through my stomach as i responded to his kiss. His body pressed tighter against mine as i parted my lips just enough for his tongue to enter. The kiss grew more and more passionate are bodies closer and closer together. We both broke the kiss and gasped desperately for air.
He looked me in the eyes and said " I'm gay "
I smiled and said " are you OK with that "
" i think ill be fine if you will be with me " he looked me in the eyes and i felt warm
" i will but you have to be open i won't go back in the closet "
" ill try my best." He said as he smiled. " follow me i want to take you somewhere "
He took me to his car. He drove us to the park. He grabbed my hand as i was getting out of the car and started walking into the woods. We ended up on this big hill on the other side of the woods. And in front of us was a lake.
By some stroke of luck there was a full moon shining down on the lake. We sat on the shore he put his arm around me and i snuggled against him. I felt like the luckiest man alive.
But then my mom woke me up and told me to get ready for school.
All a dream