Do you ever hate it when people pity you? It's practically the same as looking down upon another. Just like being snooty, stuck up, and arrogant. However, in society its fine to display these characteristics to others as long as you call it "pity". Some people desire for others to show them pity; to assume the rule of a victim. Yet, for me I despise "pity". To me pity is unnecessary.
No. Oh my god. No. What did I just do?
My eyes started to burn. Tears fell upon my cheek.
No. I was so close. So close.
My thoughts began to scramble as I became too hysterical to think.
Why?.. I put in so much effort and work? Why must I always fail?
Sobs erupted from my throat.
Everyone is disappointed by me; I can't face them right now. Everything is ruined.
"Are you okay?" I looked up to see a tall Caucasian male teenager near my feet. Strands of strawberry blonde hair poked out from underneath his cap and his dark brown eyes stared into mine.
Great, now I have strangers witnessing my failure.
I wiped away my tears quickly and cleared my throat. Putting on a brave face, I tried to gather up my vulnerability which laid shattered upon the ground. "Yep, I'm okay" I said. I noticed the boy slightly leaned his head to side. "Are you sure?" Irritation started to flare inside of me.
No, I'm not okay. I'm crying. Yet, I'm telling you I'm fine. Take a hint and leave. Your obligation of showing fake sympathy is fulfilled. I gave a response. So go.
I forced a oblivious fake smile. "I'm fine" I said. The guy reached into his sports bag to pull out a water bottle. "Do you want some water?" My eyes ran from hot to cold as I dropped the fake smile. An icy glare replaced it. "No" I said. "Are you sure?"
What is wrong with him. No means no. Is this guy stupid?
"I'm fine" I said again. "I am going to leave the water bottle here for you." He placed the water next to me and left. Stunned with anger. I raged inside
I said no! Why would he keep insisting! Can't he read the mood! What's wrong with him!
Once the guy moved out of view I kicked the water bottle as hard as I could. It flew far into the woods only to hit a tree.
Good. Serves the dumb thing right.
I looked over to the field where the tents were set up. Feelings of regret, self hatred, and dread immediately quenched my flame of fury.
Now it's time to face my parents, coaches, and anyone else who saw that God forsaken race.