Lost in a Sea of No WhereMature

I don't live to please. But if I did, I wouldn't mind...


"I'm so lost in paradise...

If I open up my eyes

I can see the storm, I can see the sky

I can see the darkness, flashing lights

All my fears, brought to life

Let me stay lost in paradise....."

 "Ding Dong! Ding Dong!" 

    "Ugh." I muttered through slightly parted lips. Looking at the clock on my night stand, it stated that it was "1:11" at night. Who the hell could be at the door at this time of the day?

I was a little more antsy than I usually would otherwise because my parents were on a business trip and I was left here with my sister Farrah. And she was knocked out in her bedroom asleep. I decided I wasn't going down stairs alone at this time of night so I opened my door and ran across the hallway to her room, while the door bell kept ringing, annoying the living hell out of me.

"Farrah! Farrah wake the hell up, someone's at the door." I whisper-yelled at her.

"What?" She asked, stretching her arms out away from her chest. "At this time at night?"She questioned. 

"Obviously! Now come on, I need you to come downstairs with me."

"Can't the person at the door wait until, I don't know, at least eight- ten hours?" She questioned, her eyebrows raising, revealing a creased forehead.

"Stop doing that with your face, you'll age faster. Now come on and go down with me." I stated, getting up from my kneeling position next to her bed and throwing the covers off her curled body.

"Ugh, fine." She threw her feet over the edge of the bed and slowly stood up, stretching her arms and legs out in the process.

"Lets go," I stated. Taking a lamp from the table in the hallway against the wall.

"A lamp? Really?" She questioned, eye brow raised, once again.

"What else do you see around you that could cause harm? Hmm? Cause the knifes in the kitchen and I don't think it'd be smart to get that thing out when it could be mom and dad back home early. Well, really,really early." I stated a-matter-of-fact-like.

"I guess your right..." She admitted.

"Mmhmm. I always am." I stated.

"Whatever, let's focus on getting this shit done and over with so I can get back to my beauty sleep." Farrah said sternly.

"Ha." I scoffed. "Conceded much?" I question, no I was raising my eyebrow.

Walking down the stairs, lamp in the right hand, and Farrah's hand in the left.

We made our way to the door. "Ready?" I questioned. She shook her head quickly and I took that as my signal the turn the knob, revealing the person behind the door.

And like I predicted, It was not a familiar face, and the person at the door was not to nice looking with the darkness covering his or maybe her's face, even though I was sure it was a male.

Without hesitation, Farrah and I quickly tried to slam the door shut, but the man was way stronger than us and he ended up getting control of the door.

"Run!" I screamed, taking Farrah's hand and we ran across the front of the house until we reached the stairs. Once I reached the fifth stair, I felt Farrah's hand slip from mine. Turning my head, I caught sight of the person taking hold of Farrah's legs, and he was pulling her back down the stairs on her belly. By this point, I knew it was a man.

"Let the fuck go of her, you jackass!" I screamed, taking hold of Farrah's hand just in time before her face would have hit the hardwood of the bottom of the stairs.

He bent over her body and took hold of my hand that was over Farrah's.

"Ahh! Help me! Someone help!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, since the door was still open.

"Fucking help me! There's someone in the house!" I screamed. I punched the stranger in the face and kicked him in the groin, giving Farrah enough time to free herself.

"I'll come after you soon, Robyn. I'm coming. I'll go get help." She stated.

"Hurry! Be safe."I hugged her as if she was the one about to be targeted.

"No, you be safe. Do all you can to live. I'll be back." She turned and ran out the house, and across the street to a neighbors. I wasn't sure what happened after that because before I knew it, I was knocked over the head with something heavy. And I drifted off into a sea of darkness.


I opened my eyes. I've been having that same dream over and over again.

I always got to that part of that night before I woke up. My mind just simply would not let me dig any further into that past. And i'm glad it didn't. Because that night is not something I want to remember.

Stretching my body, I got ready for the first day of school here in Stratford. I was starting school in November because I just had to leave my home back in Seattle. Far away. Everyone there recognized me as the girl who went missing for three weeks and who lost her sister. It was the sam shit for four years and I couldn't stand it anymore. Thank god my dad and mom had to move here to Stratford for the business. 

The downside though was I had to start school all over again, in a different country. What fun! I sure wish  Farrah was here with me. She would have told me not to worry, that everything was going to be okay. My parents certainly don't say that anymore, because all of us know everything is not okay. It's as if Farrah's death made them forget how to care for a child. They didn't know how to comfort me anymore. We didn't even spend time together anymore. They were always at work and I was always locked up in my room.

Hopefully, today won't be as shitty as  I think it's going to be. I know how hard it is to be the new girl. Hopefully, It won't be as bad the fourth time around.


I don't live to please. But if I did, I wouldn't mind. That's how I feel like right now. No one wants me. I've been left to fend for myself and quite frankly, I'm not good at it. I need to pull myself together though. I wasn't put on this planet to fuck up my life this quickly.

I opened my eyes and tried to rub the tired out. "Time to make it through the day." I stated to myself. 

The End

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