Danielle tormented emotions dealt to her by lovers who have cheated lied and betrayed her , her mind finally sees what its longing. Savage raw revenge.
Whom ever said getting Married was the happiest time of your life, well frankly needs to be strung up, stripped nude and beaten in public for telling bold outlandish lies! Least that is what I think, and If you knew the slightest bit of the hell I've been through, you would have to agree.
Lets back it up here and start over, you need to hear me out I suppose. I grew up in a small town ,population the size of the contents of a mac n cheese box. Everyone knew everyone and always in your business. Swear I was related to half the city, could be the reason it was so hard to meet anyone. Graduated high school middle of my class, did get a scholarship for college which I bailed out of after a year. High Middle class family Father a welder, mother a house wife and retired Cop. Child hood was anything other than Normal but that in its self is a whole other story.
I worked three jobs , bought a truck and was doing well for myself, Ha that's a joke no I wasn't. I was alone, scared, so hidden in myself my delusions of a perfect life began to affect people around me. I tried to be everything others wanted me to be, Do as I say, Jump off this cliff, I hate being the middle person for anyone! I was a follower not a leader, despised violence and people annoyed me to much causing my temper to build to boiling point. Id rather drill pencils into my ears than to sit and listen to someones pointless lecture about how much a pair of shoes cost at the mall or how badly it hurt when they broke a nail or lost the tournament a the golf club. GAG ME!
However, like most women, I longed for someone, dreamed of a white wedding and a happy life with a fairy tale ending. That became my goal, find someone who would love me for who I was. Thing is I wasn't sure who I was or what I wanted from life let alone a relationship. Taking advice from a co worker I began my search of possible matches via the internet. I fill out my profile and posted pictures just like the site instructed me to do. Easy enough. After waiting what seems like months I finally got a hit from a man named Robert. He worked for the wind Turbine people as an engineer, made decent money , came from a some what wealthy family from California. Average in height, Sun bleached blond hair, and olive hued skin. Striking hazel eyes and a smile that could get away with murder. He wore rings on every finger but one, a silver bar clicked against the backs of his teeth and both ears pierced. He has several tattoos that lines his body from the base of his ankle to the top of his shoulder. My favorite had to of been the Celtic circle he wore on his right shoulder. Not the type of man My family would expect me to bring home, but someone so out of my comfort zone that I may find what I was wanting in life.
What In the hell was I thinking, letting a complete and total stranger into my home. Am I really that desperate or is it the over whelming feeling of excitement making me loony? Robert and myself have exchanged countless emails and phone calls and have agreed to finally meet up. Where? My home of course! Isn't that where sain normal people meet total strangers? Flash backs of failed relationships flood back to my memory pounding my body with rigid fear and depression. Countless times of lovers cheating, walking away, lying to me about where they had been, verbal abuse. Warm tears prick my eyes. I shake my head, "this is someone new some one who knows nothing about you or your past you can be who ever you want to be". Sighing deeply I take a calming breath but my hands are still sweaty and my knees still shaky. He is to arrive by 7 pm and by 5 my house is completely clean and smells of sandal wood , I quickly run a bath trying to drown out the pulsing sound of my heart that has found its way north and lodged its self in my ear canals. Why is this freaking me out so much?
The water is hot, turning my skin a nice freshly spanked pink as my body slides under the bubbles. It smells of lavender and rose oil, I drift as fantasy takes over and the warmth cradles me in her arms. I don't Remember how long I have been in the tub when my phone rings yanking me back from dream to reality, I stumble from the tub knocking my hip off on the counter of the sink as I slip on the floor of the bathroom trying to race to grab the phone." Hello" I shout breathing hard into the phone.
" It's Robert, You ok your breathing funny?" I sense a smile and amusement in his tone.
Rolling my eyes I answer him." yeah I’m fine I was ........."
" you were what?" he asks as I scratch my head. Words fail me.
" Never mind. Where are you?"
Trying in vain to change the subject.
What?! No OMG. The phone drops to the floor in a thud ,peeking through the window blind I see Robert outside Standing next to his truck. A Black Doge Dakota with a silver tool box sits running in my drive way and I’m naked staring in disbelief out my living room window.
"Danielle?" says the phone that’s laying in the middle of the floor. Slowly I pick it up, I cant speak.
" I know your there I just saw you in the window. Are you ok? Can I come in?"
" NO" I scream " give me 5 minutes please" I hang up the phone and throw it on the couch.
Fuck what am I going to wear? I guess its now or never for him to see me for me. I slip on my favorite blue jeans and black loose t-shirt slip on a pair of socks quickly run a brush through my wet messed up hair and try to make my self look like I have not just woken up from a three day drunk.
Taking a deep breath my heart pounding again I slowly open the door and step outside onto the porch. Robert is Still standing by his truck calm and cool playing on his phone. His hair is wind blown and messy but the sun is giving it a golden gleam. He is breath taking. I feel my cheeks flush red as he looks up to see me outside. He slips his phone into his front pocket of his jeans and walks towards me.
" Hi" he whispers looking up at me.
"hi" looking away scared to look him in the Eye
Leaning forward he startles me as he takes my hand.
" You're shaking" Tilting his head to one side he looks up at me
" want to go grab some coffee?" he says his brow rising trying to reassure me.
" yeah let me get my shoes and jacket" I mumble as I hold the door open for him to follow me inside. Robert makes his way to the living room chair and sits his eyes wandering the room. His view settles on a Sketch I have framed that is settled near the hall door way. He rises from the seat and strides over to get a better look. Upon reentering the room I pause a moment to watch him. His eyes deep in study, his right arm out in front and bracing himself as he leans on the wall, with his left he runs his thumb and index finger over the sides of his chin. His lips are parted slightly his breathing a calm in and out. The hair rises on the back of my neck and I feel the blood rush to my cheeks. He lifts his gaze to mine and grins. Oh my what a shy smile he looks so young for being five years older than me.
"Sorry for making you wait" I apologize as I walk up to where he is.
Bobbing his head " Its ok. This is a nice piece, But I cant find the artists name." He turns his gaze back to the sketch.
" Its one of mine" I say proudly. Its a sketch I had done while in college for an art assignment. Its a large green Celtic cross draped in barbed wire with a black and crimson dragon wrapped around it with its wings extended out shadowing the cross.
" Really?! It quite nice. I didn't know you were an artist."
" I wouldn't call myself and Artist by any means its just a hobby." I try and persuade him.
Robert narrows his eyes at me frowns and seems to give up the ghost to save face for the moment. " Ready to go?" he asks checking his phone for the time. I nod accepting and we head into town for a cup of coffee and a chance to talk.