I didn't want to be told how or where it was happening. It was enough to know that she was dying. For once I was not ashamed of my cowardice.
No more medication. No more treatment. She insisted. My sister is no coward.
She has seen too many relatives die in a bed, in a hospital, slipping in and out of consciousness. And she's worried that this is how she'll be remembered.
I respect her for her decision, and am more than willing to fund her grand day out. My parents and I do what she wants, when she wants, how she wants. Money is no problem today. Money comes and money goes.
And today, my sister will also go.
I'm feeling very 'the glass is half empty' about it. How can I not? I was lucky to have her. She wasn't the kind of sister that most people seem to get stuck with. My friends, for example. She was my sister, but my best friend too.
She's feeling very 'the glass is half full' about it. How can she? She's the one that...
Thinking about it makes me well up like a baby. She shoots me a look every time. It makes me feel selfish, crying all the time - she's the one that this affects the most.
I've got to pretend that this is just any other day. Any other family outing.
I need to keep it inside.