BradMature

Jones fell back onto the hard floor.
'Damn.' He whispered.

Unrolling a large amount of toilet paper, Jones stuck it into his pants, when he heard a large truck rolling along outside. He ran to the window, sure enough it was for him, the boys had delievered his furniture.
'Oh SHIT!' He yelled to the window. The men looked up laughing evily.

'No!' Jones ran outside and down the steps just as the boys were throwing his couch off the back of the truck. Luckily his couch was ok. But it didn't look like the table could manage a fall like that.
'Stop!' Jones yelled. They just laughed. 'You should know, you got paper sticking out of your fly!' One of them chuckled, which turned into fits of laughter as Jones stuck it back in. They took a hold of the wood table again and were about to chuck it at Jones when the man, Brad, from downstairs came out, holding a gun, a machine gun to be exact.
'Freeze!' He said a little late. 'Put it down, fellas, nice and easy.'
'You can't very well do nothing!' The mans voice got an octave higher.
'One more word and I blow your little sisters best friend right out your trousers.' He aimed the gun where it hurts. The men slowly lowered the table. Jones heard a trickling noise, like water. The fatter of the two men looked down, sure enough, he peed himself! Jones offered him a tissue, the man shook his head quickly and got in the truck followed by his brother, leaving Jones and Brad to unload the furniture.

***

'Do you think they treat all their costumers that way?' Jones asked Brad as they put the mattress on his bedframe.
'Nah, your just lucky.' He took off his cowboy hat and wiped his brow, putting all that furniture in Jones' house was hard work.
'Lucky you were there.' Jones replied. 'Let me get you a beer.' He ran off to the kitchen.
Lisa appered at the door and waved to Brad, wondering where Jones was. She was holding her notebook. Brad walked past her and whispered to her, (omg sorry, i nearly deleted everything there) 'Go easy on him.' She nodded.
'The most exciting thing I've ever seen... Oh.' Jones came back in holding two cans.
'Hi.'
'Hi. Where's Brad?'
'Gone.' She pointed to the door.
'Look, now you can stay.' He indicated the green couch, all its cushions everywhere.
'Oh, I'm going to have to take a rain-check on that one. Got lines to learn.' She patted her notebook.
'Your an actress?'
'Female lead.' She said proudly.
'Wow.'
'And still, I don't know where I would sit. Are you sure thats clean?'
Jones looked at his couch, it did look clean, enough.

As Lisa walked out she bumped into the other woman. 'Jane. Your stalker has furniture.'
Jane took a peek inside Jones' apartment, she caught him smelling a couch. He looked up.
'Hi.' Was all he could say, humiliated.
'You ok?' She asked.
'Yeah, sure.' He stood up, she was quite a lot taller than him, although that didn't really surprise Jones, nearly everyone was taller than him.
'How are you?' He asked her.
'Great.' She walked away

The End

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