This is a story I posted on this site a while ago to get reviews on it. It failed miserably. At the time I was hurt. This is the first major story I had ever written back when I was 20, and I never finished it. Over the years, through time, I began to realize the people reading the story weren't the problem. I was the problem. I put this story on a pedestal. So after major rewrites I hope you find this more entertaining but please be brutally honest.
It all began with a slight trembling, the ground shaking as though a mighty giant was beginning to wake from inside the planet core. The people clung nervously to solid objects, unsure of the movement, unaware of what was coming next. Then the wind began to pick up; starting as a slight breeze that gained strength into a gale and then went beyond hurricane force. A force that uprooted trees, flung helpless creatures through the air, and collapsed weaker structures like small twigs in the mighty wake.
Then, the implosion began. Earthquakes started to rip apart the entire surface of the planet. The delicate atmosphere was torn to shreds as the molten core disintegrated and gravity became a ghostly memory.
A vacuum was created as air from the planet was pulled into space taking anything from the surface with it. Trees, houses, people and animals; nothing was safe from the giant vacuum. Then, planet began to collapse suddenly; ground gave way to giant abysses and lava spewed up from cracks and mountains.
As the surface of the planet collided with the core there was a tremendous explosion; it rocked the remains and sent pieces of rock spiraling outwards in all directions on a destructive path as they collided with other planets and moons. There was a domino effect of mass destruction; the first sun in the solar system was hit by the largest piece of rock and split in two. The explosion was far beyond anything that could be measured even on nuclear terms and shockwaves flew outwards like ringlets in a pond, destroying everything in their path. Planet after planet was hit and destroyed as the biggest planet in the system finally disintegrated into nothingness; dust.
When the destruction was over every planet, moon and sun in the solar system was destroyed, and large asteroids were headed on collision courses for planets in the closest solar systems.
She watched the chaos from a safe distance through a special viewer built into her shuttle. She was the only species left from that solar system. All others, any other creatures were all destroyed.
It was what the Domination had wanted, complete destruction. If one planet disobeyed them they would all suffer, and it had been her family's plan to start the rebellion; to rise up against these monsters. Her family's plan, and it was that plan that had destroyed them all.
The thought broke her away from the viewing screen; she had to find out which galaxy was next on their course. The Domination's drones had discussed it many times as being the one. It was the galaxy that withheld the beginning of the end. There was one planet in that galaxy that had hidden on it the key to their final success and control of the universe, or their destruction.
She pulled out the information key she had stolen from one of the drones and plugged it into her navigation system. Instantly it brought up a Domination crest, which flipped sideways and opened a menu. The language was her own as the drone's brains were not able to handle the capacity of the Domination language.
She toggled through the menu until she found the information she was looking for. She did not recognize the name of the galaxy 'Miskius Drane'. Translated, she could only make out the word 'Milky' and then something else she didn't understand.
The menus continued until they came to the planet the Domination were headed for; it was listed as Erathius. This time she knew what it was though, she had heard the drones speak its name many times; Earth, the planet that the key was on was called Earth.
She transferred the map and all information to her navigational system and set the shuttle to auto-pilot. She then flipped the outboard sensors on to detect any Domination ships. She moved to the back of the shuttle and then climbed into the cryo-sleep chamber attached to the wall of the shuttle. It was a long way to Earth and she would need her rest anyways; she would not be getting much sleep when she arrived on Earth. As she rested herself into the molded inside of the chamber, she couldn't help but let the tears begin to well up. The chamber's door began to hum as it closed slowly and before long she had started to weep heavily. Today she had not only lost her family but her entire race. The door closed with a loud hiss, as the air was locked inside and instantly the chamber froze her body, leaving a few pearly drops of ice stuck to her cheek.
As the shuttle moved out of orbit and towards Earth the blackness of space fell silent once more. This only lasted for a few seconds as a collection of dark ships shimmered into view, deactivating their cloaking devices. All five were pointed towards the departing shuttle. Although, they did not pursue it, they waited silently.
On board the biggest ship a Domination solider was receiving orders. There was complete silence amongst the creatures.
The Domination had surpassed vocal communication amongst their kind and had since acquired the ability to speak through telekinetic waves.
They were strangely beautiful beings, tall and slender, covered in a grey sheen that looked oddly like humanoid-reptilians. They seemed so peaceful, as though they would never harm another.
Though, the dark truth was buried beneath their kind and soft exterior. Underneath this peaceful facade was pure evil. Blacker than space, blacker than the most devoid starless part of space was an evil so pure they had no reasoning, no caring and no remorse.
They felt nothing, and they could not know pain, they only knew a thirst for total control. The only way they knew to achieve control was through destruction, torture and chaos. It was the most logical outcome.
Their extreme intelligence surpassed that of most species in the entire universe. There was only one other species that were said to exist that could wield the intelligence to be a nemesis of the Domination. It was told that these creatures only existed on another dimensional plane, and many believed they were just a fairy tale.
The soldier stood silently for a few minutes more and then glided towards the controls. Outside, the ships moved in the opposite direction of the leaving shuttle. Once again they cloaked and the space was endlessly empty and silent.
Far in the distance an oddly beautiful array of lights were sparkling as the large asteroids began to plummet into the atmospheres of planets beyond.