ch.12Mature

 

12.

 

The Cow-King had to return back to the Milky Way to gather troops.

Galaxy wars have never been an easy job, but this time the enemy was outnumbered in mass and energy, riding on the void without a leader.

Tell me, reader, do you feel like I’m neglecting you or something?

Why wont you answer?

Muzu had to solve the Salamura problem first of all.

I really gotta explain what salamura is here, because majority of people are ignorant and its awfully sad.

Its not about the name of some ancient teenager Egyptian priestiess who devoted herself to the Goddess Serket. Its also irrelevant with salamanders, with salami and berries*.

*berries are called mura

Salamura is also known as salted water with 1% content of citric and lactic acid.

The problem with this water is when it gets old, going all stinky and sticky like some disgusting bio-plasmatic extra-terrestrial slime.

If by accident, you mistaken your floor cleaner bottle with salamura, you wont make it to mop more than 4 squares because you will slip and break your hip.

What does Muzu have to do with that thing, you might ask.

Muzu likes olives.

Olives need that disgusting slime as a preservative.

In an essay I wrote back in 1998 at Jupiter, I have proven that olives lose 6% of their eatability*  when they enter that fluid.

 

*eatability=special food ability, percentage of food that has gotten bad. Usually traded among other player cards like a defensive card, but when food has become rotten, its attack is trully powerful.

 

Muzu had ordered 30 containers loaded with a kinds of olives. Black Olives, yellow olives, white olives, green olives, olives whole, olives pitted,olives stuffed with pepper pasta, with garlic, with almond, with tomato, with orange, with lemon, with tiny mutated pepper with rice filling in, olives sliced, olives cut in the shape of a mars flower, olives sweet, olives bitter, olives with pineapple, olives with baby teeth, olive juice.

Muzu loved all varieties.

But unfortunately, the trucks got stuck in some space traffic accident, very close to Hyperion, one of the satellites of Saturn and its rings are now in danger, due to the salt corroding the rocks at amazing speeds.

You can imagine all those annoying enviromentalists on Saturn protesting and causing trouble, but who can blame them?

Just the look of the disgusting slimy monster spreading over spacetime like butter on bread, would make the most gross bug put on a tuxedo and a monocule.

The King should look to this matter immediately and rejoice for not paying in advance.

The End

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