Dear Traveling Diary,

My Friday the 13th isn't turning out as great as I expected... Well, it is the 13th of Friday after all, so why would it turn out all cheery and happy? It seemed like everyone else was happy today at school though... Maybe it was because they all wore neon for good luck... It was a school dress up day where everyone had to wear neon colors, but I didn't own anything neon-like enough.

My core/homeroom teacher, Ms. Hendess, probably hates me now. I didn't copy my homework off the internet!!! Why would I? You can type up almost any sentence on Google, and then it will come up. It was a coincidence! She made me call home along with other students, and I'll tell you this, my mother thought it was stupid for making me call while she was at work. I should just call my own cell phone next time and leave a fake message. 

That isn't it either, when I got home, I received the greatest and probably the longest two hour long lecture. They didn't yell at me, but did something worse. They talked to me slowly and softly like they would a little baby so I would have to strain my ears and listen to them. 

It's not fair... I'm only 13 years old... Are all 13 year olds as miserable as I am? You know what they said that made me choke on my own tears when they left the room? They said, "We're not comparing you to your older sister, but Maggie(my older sister), is so much more responsible. We would never have to lecture her like this, ever." They just compared me to her. It makes me feel rotten, because when my parents told me about why they argue a lot and can't divorce is cause of me. They were going to get a divorce, until they had me. My dad couldn't leave my mom, so they stayed together. 

I'm just a big, heavy, extra luggage no one wants. I wonder if my friends feel the same way about me too. Their lives can probably be the same if I'm never there... My parents say that they aren't rich, and why can't I understand that. I do, I really, really do. There are so many opportunities out there that I want to do, but I force myself not to because of them. I joined Colorguard (flag team), just to live my life a little, have some fun. I might consider quitting now because they complained to me how they have to pay despite the great happy moments I have there. I want to have fun, I want to be happy, I want to live my life without getting in their way.

Probably the only reason why I try so hard in school is because I want my parents to say, "Good job. I love you. You make me so proud to have you." They do say, "I love you" though... But, when they do say it, it's only a small mumble and they never look at me. It's like they're saying, "I love you" to the air. Maybe they love the air more than they love me. 

Confused,

Karasu Kaguya

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Author guidance for This story

All I can say is, there are no rules only for:
1. Have fun!
2. No mature content
3. Limit foul language please!

Thank you~

updated Nov 14 '09 by Karasu