When you die you don't expect to wake up again. I mean yeah, maybe you'll wake up in heaven... or hell... (if you believe in that crap) but not where you died, surrounded by paramedics who haven't even tried reviving you because they presumed it was hopeless.
I sat up.
I had never seen paramedics move so fast. I was dragged out of the wreckage and put straight into the back of an ambulance. I wished it had happened so fast I wouldn't have had a chance to see my surroundings. Seeing the total devastation around me hurt more than my death. I realised that physical pain is nothing compared to the pain of the mind. Tommy, Finn, Matty... Danny...
Were they all dead? From the looks of it no one survived. The whole of the train had disintegrated into confetti sized pieces, scattered in every direction. The only reason you could tell it was a train was due to a few distinctive charred red seats - the kind you only get on virgin trains. That's all that was left. The parts of the carriage that hadn't been broken down into splinters were still smouldering, left to burn to the ground. People stood like statues watching the scene, paralysed by what they saw before them. In an overwhelming situation, both the human mind and body shut down and become completely useless. Sometimes there aren't the right words to say, sometimes there's nothing you can do. You've just got to stand there and watch, completely helpless.
And then there were the bodies. You couldn't even tell that's what they were at first. Some of them were so disfigured... in pieces... Blood was smeared across the grass in clumps. I sure as hell didn't want to know what the clumps were. It looked like something from a horror movie. There was so much blood, glistening in the moonlight. If it wasn't for the smell I would've said it was fake.
As I was thinking this, I was violently shoved into the ambulance, and my view was cut off. I think if I'd have looked any longer I would've heaved.
It dawned on me that I must've been knocked out. I couldn't have died - people don't just randomly come back from the dead. The only way you can be brought back is if you've only just died and someone does CPR on you. So how the hell did I survive? I felt myself burning... But as I looked down I realised that there wasn't a mark on me. I was covered in blood, but underneath that there was just skin. Unmarked, perfectly healthy skin. Had I imagined it? Was I crazy? They say that people hallucinate in times of stress, but that fire had felt pretty fucking real.
People were talking at me, but I couldn't decipher what they were saying. Their words sounded like a distant, almost inaudible hum. I let myself fall back against the hospital trolley I was put on and fell asleep. I don't think it was from exhaustion, but utter bewilderment and shock. I'd save my questions for another day. I just wanted to be done with this day, this reality. How could the best day of your life turn into the worst in ten seconds?