An account of creation in three parts
In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth, and He saw that it was good enough. Amen.
In time before time, God took a wad of clay in His hands, spat into it, and rolled it up into a ball. He frosted it with blues and greens then set it to spin in nothingness like a top. He even pinched off tiny pieces of clay and rolled them around between his thumb and forefinger until they became dinosaurs. But then decided He didn’t like dinosaurs, so God smashed them back into the clay and made an ape named Man instead. All this took Him almost a week to finish. Everyone was impressed, especially Man, who really enjoyed existing most days.
One day, Man asked about the dinosaur bits he found in the clay. So God made Man a wife to keep him busy. He named his wife Eve, because it was short and easy to remember. Eve soon started eating things she wasn’t supposed to, and that was the end of that happy affair. God kicked Man and Eve out of his garden and left them to their own devices.
Man and his wife managed to get by all right anyway. When their grandchildren started asking where Man and Eve came from, they were told a cute story about some joker named God making the world and everything in it. When the grandchildren asked about the dinosaurs, they were sent to bed early.