Maybe I should properly introduce myself, now I'm home and can spend longer.
David Carter, 50 yrs old, divorced about 10 yrs and nobody has been brave or stupid enough to take me on full-time since. The result of my relationship with my ex-wife is three daughters, eldest is 18, and non-identical twins of 16. (We were married two years, do the maths and see if I care.)
The reason for the divorce? We had never lived together before we got married... well, apart from a few days at a stretch, on holiday, etc, and within months of marrying we found that we were both so set in our ways that living together was difficult, then impossible. Less than 6 months after the ceremony I was living 200 yards down the road, sharing responsibility for the kids, but sleeping alone most nights. (Why does everyone wonder if I snore at this point?)
I was working for the railways up there, ticket staff at Manchester Piccadilly, but paying for rent and upkeep on two houses inevitably meant that my head was barely above water most months.
Then I developed an idea with a couple of friends, an internet site where people joined to advertise house-shares, etc, but we put an adult twist on it, never actually saying that it would get you sex but subtly insinuating it.
A month after we set it up I let the others buy me out for enough money to actually buy myself a small terraced house about 10 minutes walk from the kids, and their help in setting up a genuine nudist website rather than the 'porn-u-like' nudist sites.
And, unfortunatly, it was my wifes finding out about my involvement in the 'sex' site that led almost directly to her being my ex-wife. (Funnily enough I didn't find out about her 'boyfriends' until after the divorce.)
She had no problem with the nudist site, whilst she wasn't as fervant as I was she had no problems with nudity either in private or public.
Anyway, a couple of years ago, after a few months of working twelve hour days, thirteen day fortnights, I found myself financially able to take the girls away for two weeks, and we'd hired a holiday flat just outside Sheringham, and I'd fallen in love with the area.
And I'd bought a couple of lottery tickets whilst I was there, and one of them came up.
At the end of the break I delivered the kids home, and got back on a train to lottery HQ.
The cheque was just a normal one, but the figures nearly reached the edge of it, that one I put into my account that she didn't know about (the one that had had £7 in it for ten years), and the other one I got from them gave the £800,000 over and above the millions.
That one I put into the account she did know about, and (I'm pretty sure) still kept her online eye on.
(Its only fair to point out that we still loved each other, we just couldn't live together, and hadn't had sex since well before the divorce.)
I returned to Sheringham, and on the same day bought (almost sight unseen) a nice big house about 10 minutes from the town centre,
Then up to Manchester, treating myself to first class, and straight round to the kids and their mum.
I knew that their landlord was thinking of selling, so I asked her if she wanted to own it. She asked how much I could afford, I gave her a figure and she told me about a 4 bedroom house near her parents for slightly less, so we went off to the agents and bought it.
Two houses in one day...sounds good.
Then I told her I was moving to Norfolk. She wasn't bothered, she had a boyfriend who lived seperatly (and yes, I do wonder if we'd still be together if we'd always lived apart), but the girls weren't too happy.But there's things that money can buy, and promises of laptops with webcams so we could talk each night eased the pain of seperation.
(Get real, these were teenage girls, I'd probably get more contact with them this way than if we lived in the same house...)
The next day I went into work and gave in my notice.
So I moved.
Every school holiday I'd get visited, sometimes just the girls, a few times the ex as well, and she raised suspicion that I didn't seem to be working.
So when there was talk in the local paper of Sheringham losing its ticket office I offered to take it over, doing a few hours a day free, and actually paying for anyone covering me.
Plus, as I say, I was sitting at home playing with ebay, and Amazon, and play.com all day...
Then my daughter arrived.
Not really unexpected, her mum had rung up following a blazing row between them saying I was welcome to the.... well, I'll let you guess, but she gave the impression that Cath was the most idle person on the planet and not nice either.
By the time she'd rung Cath had been missing from her home for about eight hours, and was walking along the road.
So I was able to tell her where Cath was, and said I'd open communication between them later.
Talking of Cath, I forgot the milk.
Better go get it, and then I can add more later in peace.