Just before you get there..
Funny the things that flash across your mind, things that have no relavence to the situation but, seem to take you through it none the less. Right now, I had the distinct feeling that my boss was going to be angry with me.. that's funny, soooo very funny!
Most people were afraid of him but, I had been treating him for a long time. He was usually pretty friendly unless, he had neglected to take his meds. I think the fact that he was such a huge guy contributed more to the fear than anything, 6'5" about 280 I'm sure. He was imposing and violent at times. I had talked to the D.O.H. .. yes that word spelled doh, rightly so, the Department of health, no one knew a thing about anything and I had made it clear, several times, he should have been locked away, that he should have been under the care of a Dr. in house, not allowed to just do his own thing. But what did I know?
Yes he was going to be pissed, the afternoon meds were way off schedule.. really though, there wasn't a thing I could do about it.. I had a pain in my gut.. I... was leaking.....
No one knew how long he'd been off his medication but, he charged through the doors, bellowing like a bull, knocking all that came within his reach down and, out.. One of the orderlies had managed to shove a syringe filled with something into his neck, this just pissed him off.. I heard the commotion all the way across the courtyard, when I saw what was going on I thought I could calm him.. I called his name, he looked over in my direction, I beckoned him to come to me.. I held my palms out so he could see I had nothing. You could have heard a rat piss on cotton, even the patients knew, this was a delicate balance..
There is a light, not a tunnel just a light, oh I've heard about them, but I refuse to go towards it, everytime someone went towards the light, they didn't come back.. did they?
We sat on the bench by the window, he held on to me tight. I could feel his heart pounding. I rubbed his head and told him everything was going to be alright, just calm down, told him I'd sit there with him all day if that's what it took.. Everything was fine.. except, I think I heard it befor he did.. a siren, as it got closer, his body tensed.. he pulled the blade from his pocket.
Didn't matter, seems the light is coming towards me.. closer, closer, closer... I don't think I'm coming back..